Written by Felix Minderbinder

Monday, 21 April 2008

image for Pope Blesses Bush, Pentagon, Israel, the Church
Everyone gets blessed

THE VATICAN (FMLiveWire) - Returning to Vatican City after his US visit, the Pope blessed the Bush Administration, the Pentagon, his own Church and Israel in a special mass.

Benedict XVI said "I bless the White House for its Iraq and Afghanistan oil wars, its slaughter of over one million Iraqis, the detention and torture of Moslem prisoners at Guantanamo and CIA-run prisons, and the government's support for the death penalty."

He noted that the Catholic Church as long supported repressive, dictatorial regimes which safeguarded the wealth of the Church, and this was the object of his US visit.

After spending years ignoring sex abuse victims while serving Pope John Paul II, the Pope then blessed the perv priests who remain in the church and regretted the damage done to the Church.

"The US Catholic Church has paid out more than $2 billion in compensation to 13,000 sex abuse victims, and several dioceses have filed for bankruptcy," he marvelled.

Benedict noted that it is the repressive nature and celibacy of the diseased Catholic Church which led to the ongoing scandal.

"But I bless the perverts in the Pentagon and the Bush Administration too because they cannot help what they are doing," said the open-minded Pope. "They are only following orders."

The Pope went on to bless Israel for its murder and repression of Palestinians and theft of their land.

He noted that they should be proud of creating a new Warsaw ghetto in Gaza and for their apartheid policies, ethnic cleansing, racism and other modern innovations learned during World War II.

"Forgiveness is the essential nature of Catholicism," said the Pope.

--Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: George W. Bush, Pope

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