The Evidence of the Party is in the Goer

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 16 December 2022

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Put This On Your Face ... Unless You Know the Lie

Are you a goer, Boris? You know, a goer – do you go – errrrrgh!

Boris is out of the political realm now, but still I am haunted by Partygate. Why? It itches and tingles at my brain.

I ask: Why did so many other leaders and other politicians of the world not obey their own demands, kept their masks off, and went a-partying somewhere where they thought no one could see? Tons of American Democrats slipped off their masks, yet they called for the mandates most of all.

Some VIP from around the world slipped off those masks:

  • Nancy Pelosi (American Speaker of the House)
  • Joe Biden (American Prez)
  • Mike Pence (Robot)
  • Rishi Sunak (Wagamamma waiter)
  • Dominic Cummings (Bo Jo’s horse whisperer)
  • Alexander Van der Bellen (Austria’s prez)
  • Gretchen Whitmer (Michigan Gov and Watersports enthusiast)
  • David Clark (New Zealand’s Health Minister, forced to resign due to his hypocrisy and his love of mountain biking)
  • Justin Trudeau (Canadian PM and lover of Chinese fascism)
  • Bill De Blasio (NY mayor and road painter)
  • Samy Abu Shehadeh (Israeli man who make law then break law, and get paid big bucks!)
  • Jair Bolsonaro (Former Nazi leader of Brazil, and lover of bananas, hater of rainforests)
  • Every person attached to the name Trump


The list goes on, this is the iceberg tip, but the itch remains.

Then it hit me … they ignored the masks because … they knew they were useless and … [yes, yes, you’re almost there, think, Ana, think!] … and because they knew … [mmmm delicious, I’m almost there] … the whole thing was … fake! {OH GOD YES!}

That’s it! They knew! They knew the masks did nothing. They knew the vaccine was not a vaccine because you get a vaccine once in your life (like with polio) and then you’ll never get the disease …

… they knew the variants were bullshit, manufactured in a lab by human beings, for a purpose, with America and China getting together to kill as many people on the planet as possible cuz we’re now at 8 billion and someone’s gotta die so the rich can get all the good seats at the best restaurants …

… they knew that the “cure” was actually gene therapy, nanobots, giving people disease and heart attacks a few months later, a year later, 5, 10, 20 years later when everyone’s forgotten and masks have officially come off and you can blame all you want but you have no proof only suspicion, and that can easily be belittled by calling those people conspiracy theorists … they knew!

So they all went to parties … then when they got caught, they said sorry, put a mask on, and went about their business still knowing …

Our fucking leaders tried to kill us! If not with the virus then with the vaccine! Nuremberg, where art thou? (Alas, in the past, where all good parties end up.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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