CRICKET BALLS, Mississippi - (Satire News) - The local newspaper is reporting that the 27th Annual Goobergoob Family Reunion, which is a 99% NRA family, was held at an old abandoned Dairy Queen parking lot for the seventh year in a row.
Family patriarch Gomer "Chewing Tabacky" Goobergoob, 91, said that he is happy as shit to report that, unlike some of the past reunions, (e.g. 1997, 2008, 2016, and 2021) this year there were no accidental shootings or injuries.
Gomer G. attributes this to the fact that Goobergoob loose cannon, Butch "Bubba" Hixtits, 19, who actually owns a workable Civil War cannon, was banned from attending this year's reunion.
The family heads mentioned that they did not want a damn repeat of the fucking mess that Gomer caused last year, when he accidentally dropped his grenade launcher, and it ended up injuring 9 of Uncle Simon's prized milk cows.
Grandpa Goobergoob, also noted that the family did not want to risk having the horny-as-shit Butch show up and get one of his cousins pregnant, like he did last year, with 43-year-old highly promiscuous cousin Milly Jo Barkwood, who already has a passel of youngun's (9).■
