N'DJAMENA, Chad - (Satire News) - The North African country of Chad has just reported that due to the country's horrible financial situation, they are going to have to disband the Chad army.
Chad President Idriss Deby said that he has no choice but to do away with the nation's army, in order to afford to buy things for this country men and country women like bottled water, deodorant, corn chips, lipstick, supermarket tabloids, wine, and prophylactics (rubbers).
He noted that all of the army's 87 soldiers will be given jobs as mail carriers, mall security guards, or camel herders.
President Deby said that the leader of the army, General Goozi DuDoxi, 78, will become Deby's chief bodyguard and pastry chef.
