10 Amazing Facts to Impress People

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Thursday, 3 December 2020

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If you already knew all these facts, then you're either a very interesting person, or you've read this article before

Do people think you're dumb? Boring? Slow-witted?

Then why not change their opinion of you by telling them one of these amazing "Did you know..?" facts? It will have people riveted in seconds, and gagging for more exciting facts to be rammed down their throat.

Did you know... that camels are the only mammal apart from humans that can shrug?

Did you know... that, in 1925, a Birmingham man ran himself over with his own bicycle?

Did you know... that Elton John's favourite biscuit is a Custard Cream?

Did you know... that Jesus Christ invented fish fingers?

Did you know... that sofas were originally made from piles of leftover carpet?

Did you know... that jam is the only edible preservative that begins with the letter J?

Did you know... that the most widely-owned weapon in the world is the fist?

Did you know... that, over the course of an average 60-year lifespan, a man will have eaten his own weight in human skin?

Did you know... that Noel Edmonds is a cunt?

Did you know... that the world's oldest sheep is called Margaret, and lives in Wales?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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