Donald Bashar Assad Trump Retargets A-bombs, Nerve Gas?

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Wednesday, 28 October 2020

image for Donald Bashar Assad Trump Retargets A-bombs, Nerve Gas?
No wars today, thank you!

The White House, Washington, D. C. A SOURful Woof Blister reporting for Spoof On Unverified Rumors. Millions from the left and right are preparing to pour into the streets of every metropolis, village and town in America following Tuesday's perhaps-rigged presidential election. In anticipation of the possibility of civil war, The Spoof has learned that President Donald Trump has re-assigned his most loyal generals and admirals to positions controlling the strategic air force, atomic weapons and nerve gas.

The Spoof has also been told by White House leakers that even some of the President's closest advisors warned him that utilization of those weapons against his own people would be unthinkable. When reminded that he had launched an air attack against Bashar al-Assad in Syria, after Assad had allegedly used poison gas "against his own people," Trump responded: "Californians? New Yorkers? They aren't 'my own people.'"

Indications are that the self-described "anti-war" leftist group, UNAC, which stands for United National Antiwar Coalition, will be a major component of the left's people in the streets on Wednesday. They will be matched by armed right-wing Proud Boys militias utilizing their Supreme Court authorized Second Amendment "original intent" right to bear arms - all kinds of arms, not just the muskets that were the original intent of the amendment's creators.

When the blood quickly begins to flow, and the cities of San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York are obliterated by nukes, a small band of legitimate war protesters from the War Opponents of America will try to force themselves between the clashing mobs, singing a new anti-war song, sung to a pro-war tune from Les Miz:

Do you hear the people scream?
That is the sound of dying men,
Women and children being slaughtered
Here in freedom's name again.
When the beating of a heart
Stops with a greeting from your guns
That is a life that will depart
'ere tomorrow comes.
-------------

Will you stop this mad crusade?
Who will be strong and stand with me?
Why die on barricades
For a world that cannot be?
Why join in a fight
That puts people to flight
They're not free!

-------------

Do you hear the people scream?
That is the sound of dying men,
Women and children being slaughtered
Here in freedom's name again.
When the bleating from the right
Echoes the tweeting from the left
There's sure to be a bloody fight
'ere tomorrow comes.
-------------

When you've given all you can
You'll be buried in a plot.
Politicians to a man
Will spit out patriotic rot.
But the graves of the fallen
Will be a cold warning to all.

---------

Do you hear the people scream?
That is the sound of dying men,
Women and children being slaughtered
Here in freedom's name again.
When the beating of a heart
Stops with a greeting from your guns
That is a life that will depart
'ere tomorrow comes.

When the firing stops, all the genuine anti-war singers are dead, shot by patriots on the left and right. Their tattered "Stop The War" banner hangs limply, in bloody shreds. America's Second Civil War goes on.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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