New Political Support Group

Funny story written by The Ruling Authority

Saturday, 12 September 2020

image for New Political Support Group
An asshole

It shouldn't be surprising that certain groups of people are supporters of Trump in the upcoming presidential election. One such group would be the owners and operators of coal mines. Another might be right-wing militia organizations.

While the above-named groups do not need to publicly advertise themselves as Trump supporters, other entities must proclaim themselves as such. One group would be 'Blacks for Trump' because, of course, it is counterintuitive for the rational minded to expect people of color to support the racist Trump. 'Women for Trump', likewise, should not be a group that would reasonably support a misogynist president.

However, one new group, while fulfilling all the parameters for Trump support, is exceptional. This entity is 'Assholes for Trump'. We ask ourselves: Why would anyone self-own such an epithet, regardless of their political allegiances? So we asked Richard 'Dick' Head, organizer of the group, and Human Resources Director at Alex Jones's 'InfoWars' to elucidate. He explained that assholes comprise up to 50 percent of the voting population, and thus should be recognized and courted to vote for Trump. "We're not that much different from 'Deplorables for Trump', you know," he said.

Retired Gunnery Sergeant Imus Breakballs, co-chair of the organization, said, "It was my professional responsibility to be an asshole, training raw recruits to be soldiers. My wife and children all accept that I am an asshole. And assholes need to be represented in the government."

The question before us is whether they may not be already over-represented in the current administration. And, if they will run out of gas before the election.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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