Christian Scientist Says Covid-19 Is All In The Mind

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Tuesday, 8 September 2020

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Coronavirus - it's all in the mind

Mary Baker Eddy, the founder of Christian Science, said that the cause of all so-called disease is mental ... all illness is simply in the mind.

One of her most recent protégés, Revd. Mike Robeskill, has just spent £300k on a newspaper campaign which insists that the cure for the current Coronavirus pandemic is just a matter of mind control.

"The fact is," says Revd Robeskill, "that Covid-19 doesn't actually exist at all. It's your imagination. That's all."

We were able to get a transcript of a conversation that he had with one of his flock. Sally Flabberghast had phoned Revd Robeskill concerned about her father.

SF: "I'm worried that my dad's got Covid, Reverend. He's coughing and sweating and can hardly lift his head off the pillow."

MR: "Sally, there's nothing to worry about. It's all in his head. Tell him he's just under the impression that he's ill. Nothing more. He's just under the impression he's ill."

SF: "OK, thank you Reverend. I'll tell him. Can I phone you back later?"

MR: "Of course. Let me know how he's improving."

Five Hours Later

SF: "Reverend, it's Sally again."

MR: "Hello Sally. How did it go? Did you explain to your dad that he's only under the impression that he's ill?"

SF: "Yes. Yes, I did."

MR: "So, how is he now, then?"

SF: "Well, now he's under the impression that he's dead."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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