Emma Doll Vandalized

Written by Harry Klondike

Tuesday, 10 March 2020

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LDN; In October of 2019, an educational art piece was unveiled, “Emma, your future colleague”. A hunchback lady, complete with a puffy, jaundiced appearance was meant to be visual warning against the physical toll that the travails a “cushy” modern office can inflict on the human form.
Emma

While the statue was meant as a clarion call for a more ergonomic workspace, it has had the unintended effect of firing up many libidos. A janitor accidentally walked in on a man “relieving stress in a wanton and vigorous manner” on the unfortunate “Emma”. Ross Entwistle, who is a defendant in a copyright infringement suit with the owners of “Emma”, said this could have been avoided.

Entwistle stated that his company (Silicone Fantasies) has 800 “Hunchback Hilda” sex dolls in a warehouse, waiting to be unloaded for the people who’ve ordered one. “Many men have rarefied tastes which some don’t understand. Eczema, pitting edema, ear-hair, deformed spine, and sallow skin stood in stark contrast to the plucked eyebrows and neatly kemp appearance. Men just went nuts over this.”

Fiona Brody PhD, author of “Womyn; the Socio-Political Burden of Men” sees this as a positive. “I realize that my joy over this situation might surprise some, but this shows that men have finally reached a forced evolutionary turning point. Through relentlessly forced, and at times aggressive, guidance by the modern woman, men are finally aroused by appropriate “body realism”. The 36-24-36 with plump, sun-kissed cheeks, was a deviant sexual fetish men have suffered with for probably a thousand years. Emma represents women in their true form. Emma is beauty. Emma is truth. Emma is the future.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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