Fido, a smart dog, recently barked to a Spoof writer who understands dog talk. Fido's chief gripe was about the stupid things humans say. A few of Fido's examples of stupid comments by humans are given below, followed by an observation from the dog:
He's so stupid he couldn't be elected dog catcher. "Uh, hello. Successful dog catchers are VERY smart."
Good doggie. "Soooooooooooo condescending. Why don't humans pat EACH OTHER on the head and see what that leads to. Lawsuits probably."
Go fetch. "Ha! Don't be so bossy. Go fetch, yourself, and leave me be."
It's a dog's life. "How would humans know? Just another example of human stupidity. Sadly, humans do not know of what they speak. But that doesn't stop them from yakking."
No wonder Charles de Gaulle once said, "The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs."