"Stop the Silly Yakking" Babies Advise Grownups

Written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 16 August 2015

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Babies rock!

Observed by a reporter who understands baby talk, babies at a Day Care Center had a lot to say about what annoyed them about how adults speak. Here are a few direct quotes (as recorded by the reporter) from a number of different babies in the pack:

-- "I hate it when my mom and dad use that silly baby talk with me. Y'know, 'Goo goo, ga ga, coochie, coochie, coo.' Ridiculous! Why don't they grow up and get a life?"

-- "Don't get me started about drivel. I've heard enough about that itsy bitsy spider to last a lifetime and beyond. Boring! That spider must be massive at this point. And the water spout? I'd like to shove it where the sun doesn't shine. Now THAT would make a nice bedtime story."

-- "Someone says 'thank you' to my teenaged sister, and she always answers, 'No problem.' Huh? I don't get it. Would it kill her to answer, 'You're welcome' once in a while?"

-- "When I'm good my mom calls me by my first name. But when I'm bad she calls me by my full name, including my middle name. What's with that anyway? Why can't she be consistent? She's always trying to get me to say 'mama.' No way! When I'm ready, I plan on opening my trap and giving her a dose of her own medicine. Forget that 'mama' stuff. Yep, I plan to call her by her FULL name, including her middle name. That'll teach her!"

So there you have it. Right from the horse's mouth. Well, actually, from the mouths of babes. Sit up and take note! Babies rock....

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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