New Man

Funny story written by walter

Sunday, 28 June 2015


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Animals, predators or preys, are not ashamed of open mating. Aggressive men have a tendency for raping. However, people normally prefer mating behind closed doors. In backward nations, it is the man who decides when to perform mating. Lubrication does not matter. The desire of the man is so emphasized and respected that should he decide to have intercourse while traveling in sub Sahara along with his female, riding another camel, he can jump on the back of the camel of the female and relieve his urgent mating craving. Clergies of the vast area always advise females to yield to the desires of their male as a sign of submission to the will of their deity and escape the hell fire.

Non-aggressive man may easily lose potency because of various causes such as anxiety, stress etc. A nagging, sarcastic, overcritical, and argumentative female can render a man impotent. An odor or a bad breath can cause the same result. Such sensitive men may shy away from actual intimacy. He may fall into a trance as follows:

The image: all blindfolded; a large private bathroom; sprinkling showers; without prior notice; about five female voices being heard; no male except one; no feeling of shame; no price to pay; male walks with out-stretched arms; nose up; turning face to the right or to the left to move; giggling, laughter; complete secrecy; guaranteed anonymity; guilt-free; shame-free; totally emancipated; last shred of guilt vanished; the male approaches the crowd of females; touches the nearest female; she joyfully shrieks; others follow suit; what is it; what is it; a man; a man; joyful shrieks; one by one search the man; rub their hand from head to crotch; shrieks; the male keeps touching the females; head to crotch; hair; forehead; nose; cheeks; lips; chin; neck; shoulder; breast; navel; dipping; sliding down; some are clean shaven; examines hips; ample; thin; sliding down; thighs; legs; man is forced down; he is fully cocked; females keep touching and pulling; one tries insertion; man resists; wants to have an image first; he is not allowed to talk; tries to assess blindly; knows the erection won't last long; it can happen anytime; difficult choice; grabs one; forces her down; others sit around; stretch a hand to feel the process.

Wakes up; feels an intensive urge; wonders what to do with it; so private; so intimate; so wonderful; no guilt felt; who to thank for the occasion; don't divulge; it is a revelation. At least to some people: some prefer it boisterously; some, sharing privately. However, it is the best when it is performed absolutely privately.

A slight bad breath, an untimely movement, a grimace, a wrong gesture can ruin it. People are not all the same. Sharing might interfere.

Now that he is fully awake, evaluates the whole process: to him it was a normal reverie caused biologically, a prostate function. No magic, no supernatural involvement. However, this reverie led him to think about population control. Instead of resorting to various forms of surgeries, man can pursue celibacy and still enjoy a better sex life.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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