Political Science 101: Conspiracies

Written by Dick Sheerer

Tuesday, 21 July 2015


In essence all politics are just one big conspiracy.
Conspiracies are interesting and intriguing because they reveal the evil inner workings of politics. The public is often surprised and startled by the dastardly deeds their leaders do on a daily basis. Although there has been constant reports of conspiracies throughout history people are still skeptical because they find it difficult to believe that an elected official in the public eye would be so brazen as to pull such a stunt. The bigger the atrocity involved the harder it is to believe. Whenever a conspiracy theory is proven to be true people think that it's an isolated case. But it's just the tip of the iceberg.

Government officials observe peoples' apathetic reaction to the outrageous things they do. They know that people are too ignorant or too busy to complain. So they go a bit further, slowly pushing the envelope conspiring more conspiracies just to see how much more they can get away with. Sometimes the media makes a half-hearted effort to expose them. Some small groups protest but are labeled agitators, radicals, or terrorists. Some conspiracies are so transparent that it seems as though the authorities actually want the citizens to find out and rebel so they can declare marshal law. That way they would have complete control-game over.

Politicians think that conspiracies are a good way to do business and even necessary for their survival. A conspiracy is more than just a plan of action, or sneaky plot, or devious scheme. It's always unethical and immoral, often illegal, and occasionally a crime against humanity. But in the twisted mind of the conspirator it's justified. For these power hungry megalomaniacs it's a gamble that's worth the risk because rarely are they caught.

All politicians conspire one way or another. It's common practice that is done so flagrantly a lot of conspiracies are discovered by an opponent who then blackmails them. So many politicians blackmail each other that politics has become one big game blackmailing and counter-blackmailing. As one of the main reasons for legislative gridlock it explains the impotence of some politicians. Their failure to act is due to an opponent's threat to expose them in a conspiracy that would end their career.

It's nothing new. It happens all the time. Even the most honest or sneakiest politician can be blackmailed by an unscrupulous opponent who frames them with a false accusation. Even if vindicated the accused usually suffers irreparable damage and disgrace because the public will assume that he's guilty but was vindicated because he paid someone off. It's a cynical view but none the less true. Understanding this makes all the pieces of the political puzzle fit neatly together. Now it all makes perfect sense.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more