In a recent global survey by U-R-FKD science magazine among the starving and homeless of the world it was unanimously agreed that the recent discovery of mountains on Pluto and the billions of dollars spent on it had given "meaning at last to all our sufferings".
Said one vagrant from a refugee camp in Afghanistan:
"I have been living here for five years now, like a sewer rat. My wife died recently and I do not know what became of my two daughters. I used to crawl under my blanket at night and pray I did not wake up in the morning. But, now, thanks to this great news, I lie awake at night gazing at the stars for as long as I can, content at last to know that somewhere up there in that vast array of lights there is a planet called Pluto... and it has mountains on it."