The Foundering Fathers, on Original Intent

Funny story written by Matt Birkenhauer

Thursday, 12 February 2015

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"The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."
19th Amendment to the Constitution, ratified, 1920

We hold these truths to be self evident--
That all men are created equally
Except for political expediency
Where slaves are three-fifths property.

These truths we're told are quite self evident:
That all men are created equally--
Or so we thought until we amended
Our view of women as equal to men.

These truths, apparently, are pretty clear:
No state can deprive us of life so dear,
Or liberty and property, unless they
Happen to be Latino, Kenyan, or gay.

Truth, evidently, is easy to see
If you're fat, white, angry, and accoutered
In a parody of that rich document
The Tea Party finds so expedient.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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