Ryder Cup Congratulations

Funny story written by K.C. Bell

Monday, 29 September 2014

image for Ryder Cup Congratulations
Men in kilts!

Congratulations to the European team for winning the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles, Scotland.

Yeah, right!

The top players from several European nations played against the United States.


As though the European countries didn't already outnumber the United States, the Scots must have had the golf course hot-wired for their European team. When you see a golf ball headed for the cow pastures, then makes a right turn in mid-air, (like a smart missile) back up in reverse and land a few inches from the golf-hole, one has to become a wee bit, head scratching suspicious.

This right or left turn wizardry also worked on the turf.

U.S. team members would putt a golf ball a few inches from the hole and the ball would swing wide and around in the opposite direction, as though to say: "No way! I'm not going into that cold looking grave. I'm getting a latte at Starbucks!"

But the same course seemed to work magic for the European team. Even blindfolded, single handed, with backs turned, they managed to sink balls from the ruff.

Was the European team really that good, or did the grounds keeper plant a few wires here and there and add magnets in the golf balls?

So the European Team won the Ryder Cup. Congratulations! Bah humbug!

The United States, however, won the fashion awards. Thank you, Ralph Lauren. The lightweight stretch wool Italian pin stripe navy pants looked smart and unusual for golf. The red pants were adorable; very Santa Claus like. The navy long sleeve sweater with the intarsia American flag was super smart, but the blue sweater with the intarsia Ryder Cup trophy worn the first day seemed to predict doom. It resembled a genie's lantern. Instead of a Ryder Cup, a big fat laughing Santa Claus might have boosted spirits, short wired the ground's keeper's shenanigans and the United States might have won.

Skeptics could insist, "That was a golf match, not a fashion show."

Well, if they wanted to be authentic, (after all, they were playing in Scotland) the European team should have worn kilts!

Read more by this author:

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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