The Top-Ten Best Selling Singles of All Time

Funny story written by Auntie Matter

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

image for The Top-Ten Best Selling Singles of All Time
The Ones they all Dance.


1. If you leave me, I will kill myself.

2. If you don't leave me, I will kill myself.

3. I can't live without you. Until I get over it.

4. I would want to kill you if you ever left me but, as I am such a nice guy, I must spare you.

5. The first time ever I saw your face, I thought the Sun rose in your eyes. Now that you've fucked up, I hope you rot in hell, you dumb bastard!

6. I love you because you look so fine. In fact, I would rather go to bed with Mussolini than Adolf Hitler any day. How lucky are you?

7. You taught me to love myself; I want to kill myself I feel so unworthy.

8. When you leave me for her, you will regret it... some day. I have the police and the Catholic Church on my side.

9. You left me, and now I am dying, and it is all your fault.

10. I was happy before I met you... and I'll be
still happy when you go.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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