Imagine there's no orchestra - European air conductor crowned champion

Funny story written by Nate John Won

Thursday, 21 August 2014

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Air Conductor Jean-Luc Gingembre claimed his all-Europe 2010 Air Conducting championship trophy. To gain this prestigious award, the plucky Frenchman conducted his way through Stravinsky's 'Rite of Spring' in front of an impressed audience of 2,000.

Gingembre has previously played venues from as small as 'Le Petite Café' in La Rochelle, to 'La Lune' - the famous theatre in Lyon. He is recognized everywhere he goes and has recently had a front cover photo on Paris Match magazine.

'I started years ago, with small pieces,' claimed Gingembre. 'You know - Frère Jacques, Alouette. By the time I was ten, I could easily conduct my way through the popular stuff: Jacques Brel, Serge Gainsbourg. From there, it wasn't a big step to Beethoven, Bach, Mozart.'

His music teacher apparently threw him out of class once, for conducting when he was meant to be writing notes.

'Where is she now, huh?' Says Gingembre. 'I'll tell you where - in a care home for crabby old women.'

Ironically, in his spare time, Gingembre also runs classes in Air Conducting, and already has enough work to keep him in a lifestyle befitting of a 'real-life' conductor.

'With the correct guidance, it is possible for anyone to gain some proficiency in this field,' claims Gingembre. 'Start now. Grab a stick, stand straight and begin… conduct whatever you can - the radio, TV, traffic.' Try it. It's very therapeutic.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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