Ten Reasons Why George W. Bush Is An Idiot

Funny story written by Simon Saunders

Saturday, 24 November 2012


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image for Ten Reasons Why George W. Bush Is An Idiot
President Bush giving Tony Blair (who's just out of shot) the opportunity to pull his finger

Recently released US government documents have shed light on George W. Bush's time as President of the United States.

They reveal the sort of lunacy President Dubya's staff had to put up with during his two terms in office.

We have compiled a list of ten of the most idiotic things he said and did or thought.

1) When discussing foreign affairs with his advisors Bush believed they were talking about jogging whenever Iran came up.

2) He thought that McDonalds got all their bun seeds from Sesame Street until Big Bird called him to set the record straight.

3) Bush was once hoodwinked out of $25,000 when a muddy puddle outwitted him in the grounds of Camp David.

4)Every day at 10am he would attempt to break the world record for fitting the most Rice Krispies up his nose. Sadly, he never achieved his aim.

5) White House staff were prohibited from wearing their spectacles on top of their heads because Bush believed it caused bunions.

6) The former Governor of Texas strongly believes that very small cows live inside womens breasts and that's were the milk comes from.

7) Despite working for many years in the oil industry, whenever his staff would ask about his plans to drill for more oil he would reply, "What the hell is oil?"

8) During his frequent meetings and phone calls with then British Prime Minister Tony Blair, Bush would always ask Blair how his mother Margaret Thatcher was. The reason for this was Bush believed that because his father had been president it meant that every other leader had a parent who had been in charge of a country too. Blair never had the heart to tell him Thatcher wasn't his mother.

9) While in office he enjoyed a weekly game of poker against a number of different chimps. Bush never won a hand in his entire eight years as president.

10) The biggest reason why Bush is an idiot is because he's George W. Bush.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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