Written by John_L

Monday, 15 October 2012

image for More shocking abuse at TV studios
Little Ted supported by Family.

More shocking stories of abuse from the studios of 80's TV came out today when one of the stars of 'Play school' told of years of abuse at the hands of an evil predator.

Little Ted now in his late 50's and living at a toy museum told reporters today how he was abused for almost 10 years after joining the show in the mid 70's.

"At first it was just a little touch here and there. I put it out of my mind but in the end I was forced to do the most depraved things to satisfy her." Little Ted said with tears welling up in his eyes. "The worst thing was I couldn't tell anyone about it, she was just too powerful. I mean she was a close personal friend of Margaret Thatcher."

When asked by reporters to name his assailant Little Ted took a deep breath and said "Hamble"

"I've not spoken that name for over twenty years but I don't think she can harm me now." He continued "It was every night when we were put into the box she would bully all of us. Humpty took to drink which is why his cheeks were always so red and the rest just couldn't face her. She would torment all of us but because I was small I was abused the most. She used to keep a long knitting needle in her dress and penetrated me with it several times. She also forced me and Jemima to have sex while she watched. Jemima was never the same after that I think she started to take drugs. Big Ted was no help at all he would just sit there and pine for the days when Eric Morcombe would take him out for tea. Hamble just used to call him pathetic."

"The happiest day of my life was the 10th of June 1983. Thatcher had won the election the day before and she asked Hamble to move to Downing Street and become a special advisor. After that we never saw her again."

"Poppy was bought in a replacement and things got better from that point on. Humpty stopped drinking and Jemima slowly got back to her old self. I was even able to form a lasting relationship with Poppy."

When asked why he had chosen to come forward Little said "I know that Hamble was friends with Sir Jim. She must have helped him abuse children and she is still alive in hiding. She was caught up in the Westland Helicopter scandal and went to ground soon after. I know that Mrs Thatcher saw to it that she was looked after, and I read that Meryl Streep had spoken to her as research for 'The Iron Lady'. I just want justice."

Executives have said that it would launch an inquiry while the Met police have said that Hamble is on their list of people to talk to.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
96 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more