My Senior Moments for W/E: 16th September 2012

Funny story written by Inchcock

Monday, 17 September 2012

image for My Senior Moments for W/E: 16th September 2012
Warfarin INR level now too high - dosage reduced

Monday 10th September

* Up early (0400hrs) to do diaries in time to go to the launderette.

* Amazing find - outside the launderette, there has been a public telephone box for many years, but as with so many, the use of the mobile phone has lessened the need for these old phone boxes. They have replaced it with an cash machine (ATM) the same size and shape of the old telephone box. I was chatting with the locals, and Margaret is going to start a book on how long it takes for the machine to be robbed, and what type of vehicle will be stolen and used to crash into it. Watch this space...

Tuesday 11th September

* Up at 0415hrs, Spoof Diaries posted. WC visited, medications taken, WC visited, snacks for QMC staff, paperwork and potatoes to nibble put in bag, WC visited, then noticed it was raining a bit... but it stopped.

* Set off on walk to QMC, passing the new ATM machine that's replaced the telephone box, I noted the local scum-yobs had already done a graffiti job on it.

* On the walk down Gregory Boulevard (about I.5 mile in length) I counted 11 drivers using mobile phones... just thought I'd mention it.

* Just made it to the loo in time at the QMC - nothing like as bad as last week thankfully.

* Got bus back into town, and went to the 99p shop to get some nibbles for Margaret and Stewart. I think the place is closing down soon, the shelves looked awfully bare, and the display stacks had disappeared! Not really surprised, disappointed, but not surprised.

* Got bus back to Carrington, called in to see Margaret and Stew, but they were out.

* Had me water tablet, and did some Spoofing in between visits to the WC.

* Feeling a bit confused again at the moment.

Wednesday 12th September

* No Senior Moments to report today, unless of course, one has occurred that had taken affect at a later time, that my limited observational and memory cells had missed, by which time I would have become aware of it s happening in which case it may be recorded elsewhere in this log, if I remember it. (I think)

Thursday 13th September

* Bad wind still emanating painfully from all escape routes this morning.

* Went over to see Stewart, but he's gone out in his Harley-Davidson mobility scooter. Caught him returning, helped him get it back into garage.

* No walks today, spent all day on the laptop. Made some graphics, facebooked, then did Diaries for the morning.

* Only problem was the knees not liking the lack of exercise and stiffening a little painfully - must get out tomorrow for a hobble somewhere.

* Managed to burn saucepan again - must get another now.

Friday 14th September

* Up at 0400hrs, posted Spoof Diaries and graphic on facebook.

* Decided after seeing Margaret and Stew, I'd walk into town and get bus to Beeston to get some cheapo nosh, and look for a cheap saucepan as I only have one serviceable left, and a kettle with a whistle.

* Walked to town, and caught bus to Beeston. Arrived in Beeston find that since my last visit some years ago, a Tesco Extra had opened opposite where the since closed down fire station was, the car park had been demolished, and the bus station had no times as it was obviously in the middle of the building of the tram lines for the new service.

* In the shopping mall, there was a bank, four charity shops, a B&M, and 14 closed down retail units left, oh, and an Argos. Talk about sad.

* I visited the B&M, and got some Goulash, Alliums, pickled Cucumber, and some biscuits for Margaret. Then hunted around and found a whistling kettle at £4.99, so purchased one.

* Then stood outside in the so called bus station, and with no times on display, I spent a while hobbling from one stop to another as the Nottingham buses got in, only to miss the first four - managed to get one eventually, that tool a route through the Nottingham University grounds - that was a first for me.

* Got in town, and I went in Pound shop to get some Wagon Wheels at 8 for a quid. Margaret and I like these, especially at this price.

*Got bus to Carrington, and walked through to the hovel.

* As I opened the door, the familiar smell of burning greeted me - I'd left the pan on with three potatoes in it. Then realised I forgot to get a saucepan - my current available saucepan is one small one, that I rescued last week, but the lumps of lining missing worry me a bit.

* I rinsed out the new kettle, and put it on the ring to try it out. Eventually the whistle sort of warbled gently a bit as the water boiled - I took out my hearing aids, and could not hear it at all - another plan gone haywire. Hey-ho!

* On laptop to do diaries ready for morning.

Saturday 15th September

* Oh what an 'orrible night... angina, wind, bladder... oh what an 'orrible night...

* Put me new kettle on, but couldn't hear its whistle without me hearing aids in... and then only just. Made a cuppa, took me medications, and got on laptop.

* Posted Spoof Celebrity Diaries for the day, then went on an unplanned marathon visit to the WC - I read me trolleybus books for a bit - winced with the pain frequently - sang Nat King Cole's 'Unforgettable', Rick Nelsons 'It's up to you', and Billy Fury's 'In thought's of you' - Whistled a while - counted the cracks in the ceiling (42), and within about an hour... success! Pain with it, but a successful evecuation was achieved nonetheless.

* Came down and took an extra painkiller. Then filled pots up with doses of medications for the next few days. Must remember later to go and collect me two months supply from the pharmacist.

* Went over to see Stewart, he was okay - then I walked down to get prescriptions. Bought them back with me called in to see Margaret and Stew, then realised I'd not been given any Pepctac so returned to chemist - waited 30 minutes - to be told none booked. No I'll have to see GP receptionist Monday and ask for prescription.

* Got back to find I'd left the new kettle on a low light, but could not hear the whistle - another clanger.

* Started Spoof diaries for tomorrow, and updated Political and Nottingham mag's.

* Making a cuppa, I flipped the top off of the boiling kettle, and the whistle attachment shot off, instinctively I grabbed at it as it fell into my last remaining saucepan of peas, and I knocked it off of the stove. I then had a mess to clean up, and dented last remaining saucepan.

Sunday 16th September

* Angina bothersome last night. Got up and on the laptop early again (0330hrs). Did diaries and updated the other bits.

* By 0730hrs, I'd had eleven visits to the WC, three for heavy duty evacuations. Going to the GP surgery on Monday, and get another appointment.

* I started to read me book a bit, but concentration was not good, so put on a Goodnight Sweetheart DVD to watch... but the headphones packed up again. Back to the book (Stalingrad).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more