Selected Nottingham News for W/E 16th Sept 2012 + comments

Funny story written by Inchcock

Monday, 17 September 2012

image for Selected Nottingham News for W/E 16th Sept 2012 + comments
Saturday: I bet he gets a bigger sentence than those who murdered the lad in Sherwood last month?

Monday 10th September
Topic: Cars torched - Arson - Crime
Headline Nottingham Police hunt arsonists after cars are torched""
Source: This is Nottingham
Extract: Sarah Zawadzki, 21, of Hucknall, found her automatic Nissan Micra had been set on fire near her home on Saturday morning.

It was one of a series of similar attacks in Barbara Square, George Street, Annesley Road and Central Avenue, Hucknall.

No one was injured but four cars were seriously damaged.

Miss Zawadzki, who recently lost her job as a swimming instructor, suffers from hemiplegic migraines - painful headaches that can cause weakness in one side of the body and tremors and can need days of recovery.

She relied on her car to get to hospital for vital check-ups and said she was devastated to see it had been written off.

"I've had a really hard year and now someone has taken away one of the things most important to me."

She added: "I feel terrible asking my friends and family to drive me around, because my parents live on the other side of the county.

"But I can't afford to buy a new car, so I don't have a choice."

Police are appealing for witnesses to the car fires, which they say are probably linked. They all took place between 11pm on Saturday and 3.15am on Sunday.

A member of the public chased someone who was trying to set fire to a van in George Street, but the suspect escaped towards Victoria Street.

He is white, about 5ft 8in and was wearing a dark-coloured beanie-style hat, a dark coat and jogging bottoms.

Anyone with information is asked to call DC Neil Allsop at Hucknall CID on 0300 300 99 99, ext 804 4734.

Comments: The above incidents happened in August - last weekend there were more arson attacks destroying cars. Tree in Mapperley, and one in Carrington - tight outside my window. Not seen any reports about them yet though.

Tuesday 11th September
Topic: Crime - Arson - Cars torched
Headline ""
Source: Neighbourhood Alert
Extract: Between midnight and approximately three thirty in the morning on Sunday 9th of September 2012, there were a total of four cars set alight which were either destroyed or badly damaged as a result. These incidents occurred on Sherbrooke Road, Carrington and in the Mapperley Park area, Zulla Road and Ebers Road. It is unclear at the moment what the motives were for these incidents, but it is believed that they were probably connected, and we need to identify those responsible as soon as possible.

To that end, I am appealing to anyone reading this that may have seen or heard anything or who may have information to contact me on the contact details provided or alternatively if you wish to remain anonymous then please contact Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

Not only are these incidents distressing and traumatic for the owners of the damaged vehicles but there is potential for further damage to other property and potential threat to life for anyone inside a nearby property.

Regards: Pc 2820 Stephen Fletcher, Beat manager for the Carrington beat area

Comments: This is a report that includes the car that was just outside my front window. Nice innit, that's all within 1 mile and in the last six months, two murders, 8 break-ins, 2 stabbings, 15 muggings, and 4 cases of arson. And that's the incidents I know about. I feel uncomfortable now...

Wednesday 12th September
Topic: Crime - Stabbing
Headline "Arrest after 68-year-old stabbed in Carlton, Nottingham"
Source: BBC News
Extract: A man has been arrested after a 68-year-old man was stabbed at a property in Nottinghamshire.

The victim was found with two stab wounds at Cliff Road, Carlton, at about 22:30 BST on Monday.

He was taken to the Queen's Medical Centre in Nottingham where he remains in a critical condition.

A 40-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of GBH and remains in police custody. A second property in Cavendish Road, Carlton, is also being searched.

Comments: At least they have got someone for this one - I wonder how much probation he'll get given?

Thursday 13th September
Topic: Richard Whitehead - Nottingham tour
Headline "Paralympian Richard Whitehead to get Nottinghamshire tour"
Source: BBC News
Extract: Paralympian gold medallist Richard Whitehead is to get an open-topped bus tour of Nottinghamshire in recognition of his achievements at London 2012.

The 36-year-old athlete, who runs on blades, won gold in the 200m T42 final, breaking his own world record.

The bus leaves BBC Nottingham at 08:30 BST on Friday and will visit Lowdham, Radcliffe-on-Trent, West Bridgford, County Hall and Old Market Square.

A postbox has been painted gold in Mr Whitehead's honour in Lowdham village.

Comments: I'm glad they have missed off the areas where gangs, drugs, violence, stabbings, muggings and yobs rule the roost - like where I live, on the tour.

Friday 14th September
Topic: Crime - Scam - Police
Headline "Telephone scam warning"
Source: Nott's Police Site
Extract: Police are warning of a telephone scam that has been reported to the Nottinghamshire control room this week.

Two people have separately reported that elderly relatives have been telephoned by a man claiming to be a police officer. During the call, the victim is told that criminals are looking to steal money from their bank account.

They are then told that a special "safe account" has been set up for them and are advised to transfer their cash to that account as soon as possible.

In one instance, the victim was told not to reveal to his bank why he was transferring the money, as a bank clerk was "under surveillance."

Another victim was told that she would jeopardise covert police work if she told her bank why she was requesting the transfer.

The caller managed to persuade these victims to transfer cash to a so-called "safe account".

A spokesperson for Nottinghamshire Police said: "This is a despicable ploy to steal money from vulnerable and trusting people, and it is causing significant distress to them and their families.

Comments: The morals of this society are ever growing lower.

Saturday 15th September
Topic: Rogue trader - Crime - Gambling - Student
Headline Former Nottingham student Kweku Adoboli 'gambled away' £1.4bn of bank cash""
Source: Nottingham Post
Extract: Former University of Nottingham student Kweku Adoboli, 32, is accused of gambling away £1.4 billion while working as a trader for UBS.

At one point he was at risk of causing the bank losses of £7.4 billion, jurors at Southwark Crown Court were told.

Adoboli, who is facing two counts of fraud and two counts of false accounting between October 2008 and last September, allegedly gambled away the money on high-risk trades aimed at boosting his annual bonuses and job prospects.

Prosecutor Sasha Wass QC said: "He is on trial because he lost his bank £1.4 billion. He fraudulently gambled it away. He also, in doing so, wiped 10%, or about £2.8 billion, off the bank's share price.

"He did all of this by exceeding his trading limits, by inventing fictitious deals to conceal this and then he lied to his bosses.

"Mr Adoboli's motive for this behaviour was to increase his bonus, his status within the bank, his job prospects and of course his ego.

"Like most gamblers, he believed he had the magic touch. Like most gamblers, when he lost, he caused chaos and disaster to himself and all of those around him."

Comments: I bet he gets a bigger sentence than those who murdered the lad in Sherwood last month?

Sunday 16th September
Topic: Crime - Burglary - Puppy
Headline "Puppy stolen in Nottingham burglary"
Source:Notts Police Website
Extract: Police are appealing for witnesses to the incident which happened in Ainsdale Crescent between 1pm and 9.20pm on Tuesday 14 August 2012.

Offenders got into the house by forcing open a back door and stole a 26 inch television and the pet.

The female puppy is a Siberian Husky, German Shepherd and Alaskan Malamute cross.

It is distinctive as its right eye is brown while its left is a mixture of blue and brown. Its coat is grey and white and she has brown flecks on her ears.

The puppy is not chipped, has no collar and had not even been named yet.

Witnesses, anyone with information or who may have been offered the dog or television for sale, are urged to call Oxclose Lane CID on 101 or Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.

Comments: Nothing is safe or sacred any-more to these vermin. I despair.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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