Cumberland, MN - A local teenager is frustrated that not more people don't get him and don't consider him a brooding deep-thinker who they find intriguingly mysterious. Austin Smithers, 17, who is a junior at Walter Mondale High School in Cumberl...
Here follows a hitherto lost extract from the diary of Jane Austen, discovered by Christopher Long: Dear Diary, Today I was taking my morning constitution with Papa, when he told me that he had some business to attend to at Mr Henry Miggins' Cornershoppe. After a brief conversation with Mrs Miggins, during which we exchanged pleasantries about the weather, Papa and I alighted upon the establ...
Dear Diary, Thank god I'm not in that hell-hole of a place Wandsworth anymore. It was a nightmare to be in there. All I could hear were the little lambs screaming every night and there was nothing that could take their screams away. Now all I can hear is their silence and it's so peaceful. Now I'm residing at her majesty's pleasure in an 'Open Prison' which is completely different from Wan...
Friday 15th 2013 Dear Diary, Well I have survived a night in Wandsworth Prison and I haven't been beaten up yet. I'm 'padded' (sharing) a cell (toilet) with somebody who cannot be named for legal reasons but he's 'in' (convicted) for robbing old grannies for their handbags and seems quite harmless, and he had to get up in the middle of the night and have a very large poo (crap). Oh the ind...
Monday 10th September * Up early (0400hrs) to do diaries in time to go to the launderette. * Amazing find - outside the launderette, there has been a public telephone box for many years, but as with so many, the use of the mobile phone has lessened the need for these old phone boxes. They have replaced it with an cash machine (ATM) the same size and shape of the old telephone box. I was chat...
Monday 3rd September * Gawd heavens... new pains in groin today. * Went over to see the lovely Margaret. She seemed a little less tired today. Walked her home, and I invested in some Health lottery tickets... I am a fool, as if I stood a chance... huh! * No walks today, spent ages on laptop, burnt another saucepan, and dropped then stood on a tomato. * By gum life's exciting! Tuesda...
Monday 3rd September Topic: Shooting - Crime - Justice Headline "Real victim is the man who shot at burglars: MP says farmhouse couple should not be charged" Source: The Mirror Extract: The businessman arrested for allegedly shooting suspected burglars at his farmhouse is the real victim of the crime, his MP said yesterday. Alan Duncan believes Andy Ferrie, 35, and wife Tracey, 43 - who is...
Monday 27th August Topic: Nepotism - Bonuses - Civil-servants Headline "100+ senior civil servants got five-figure bonuses last year." Source: Daily Star Extract: The number of public sector fat cats grabbing more than £10,000 on top of their salaries has doubled since 2011. One defence official scooped a £100,000 boost to his £160,000 wage - prompting the Government yesterday to defend Wh...
Monday 27th August Topic: Crime - Scum - Attack - Pensioner Headline "Men threaten Kimberley pensioner with knife and ransack her home" Source: This is Nottingham Extract: The four thugs pushed Balwinder Dhami over and held her down after she answered a knock at her door on Saturday evening. The 69-year-old told how they ransacked her bungalow in Kimberley looking for money in the 15-minute...
Monday 20th August * Up really early to do diaries and mags - then got ready for trip out to Skeggy. * Just made it in time to meet Sister Janet and Brother-in-law Pete for trip out on train to Skegness that they had paid for as an early birthday pressie - except only Brother-in-law Pete was there, seems I got it mixed up again and thought Janet was coming. Not so. * Really enjoyed chinwa...
Monday 13th Aug * Up and at em this morning - feeling better than for a long time. Medicated, ablutionised, and over the road to see Margaret, looking good. * Walked to Bulwell, got some nosh in, and bussed home to the hovel. * Bit of bother late on staying awake, and food came back up. Tuesday 14th Aug * Again, despite proper kip, I felt okay this morning. * Medications, ablutions, diarie...
Monday 6th Aug Topic: Crime - DUI - Crash - Arrest Headline "Driver arrested after woman seriously injured in Arnold crash" Source: This is Nottingham Extract: A woman is seriously injured in hospital after a crash in Arnold yesterday. A 31-year old man has been arrested in relation to the crash, on suspicion of dangerous driving and driving while unfit through drink or drugs. Comments:...
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 105:Tesco's Big, Busty, Brutal Belinda I was on my way to Tesco, on Bath Street, Ilkeston for my first duties there. A nice sunny morning, plodding along on my Norton, young, fit, just promoted, willing and able, and full of the joys of spr...
Sunday 22nd July * Arthritis, impetigo, angina and hernia all easier today... well this morning, but the ulcer is giving me gip. Really thought it had gone, ages since any bother, but started again a few days ago. Got to see GP's nurse in the morning (if I remember), so will ask for a prescription for Aludrox SA... oh, they stopped doing that a while ago. * Cuppa and medications, carbolicali...
Monday 16th July 2012 * Knees and hands much easier this wet morning. Hernia bothersome, angina okay, so a good start. * Set off on walk into town to meet Brother-in-law Pete for bus trip to Mansfield. Remembering to call at GP surgery en-route to book me CHD appointment... I thought I saw one of the receptionists smile... but I'm not certain, possibly a mild hallucination? * Met Pete, who seem...
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 104: 1962: A Day At Work At Tesco "With thanks to Skoob1999 who triggered my memory of this incident, when he was telling me of one of his own. Thank You Sir!" I was at the back door of Tesco on Granby Street (later to become Maid Marion Way...
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947. He started life with nothing, and he still has most of it! Chapter 103: Fetching the Bi-Monthly medications Monday: Bi-monthly medications collection day Set out on the short ten minute walk to the pharmacists to fetch my bi-monthly medications p...
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 102: Going to work - 1960 I knew of the one-day bus-drivers strike, so set out really early to walk the 8 miles or so to Buwell. Being greeted as I opened the door by the snow and ice I did not expect. I went back in and adorned me well...
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