Selected Political News for W/E 9th Sept 2012 + comments

Funny story written by Inchcock

Monday, 10 September 2012

image for Selected Political News for W/E 9th Sept 2012 + comments
Sunday: Manipulative, manoeuvring, money-mad, malicious, malevolent Blair

Monday 3rd September
Topic: Shooting - Crime - Justice
Headline "Real victim is the man who shot at burglars: MP says farmhouse couple should not be charged"
Source: The Mirror
Extract: The businessman arrested for allegedly shooting suspected burglars at his farmhouse is the real victim of the crime, his MP said yesterday.

Alan Duncan believes Andy Ferrie, 35, and wife Tracey, 43 - who is also being held - should not be prosecuted for defending the remote property.

International development minister Mr Duncan said: "If this is a straightforward case of someone using a shotgun to defend themselves against burglars in the dead of night, I hope police will prosecute the burglars and not my constituents."

The Tory MP added: "The householder is the victim here."

He had phoned 999 in the early hours of Sunday to report that intruders had been shot. Last night the couple were still being quizzed.

Magistrates granted police an extension to question them as well as the four men, aged 23, 27, 31 and 33, being held on suspicion of aggravated burglary.

Comments: And I bet the scum gang get compensation off of courts! Justice in the UK...?

Tuesday 4th September
Topic: Osborne - Cameron - Boos
Headline "Boos for the Grim Reaper: Paralympics tipping point means George Osborne won't be laughing today"
Source: The Mirror plus video
Extract: Up to 80,000 people booing disability benefits axeman George Osborne at the Paralympics will be remembered long after the ministerial reshuffle's forgotten.

It was the Chancellor of the Exchequer's Women's Institute moment, as significant as the pearl and twin-set brigade's slow handclap of Tony Blair in 2000 which demonstrated the Labour Premier had lost Middle England.

Osborne's initial chuckle was followed by a fixed grin which showed the Treasury Grim Reaper knows he is in trouble, cheers for Gordon Brown from the same crowd rubbing salt into Boy George's wound.

Comments: I bet they will still not get the message though... too tough skinned for that!

Wednesday 5th September
Topic: Theresa May
Headline "Theresa May is latest victim of Britain's newest sport: booing ministers"
Source: The Guardian
Extract: First George Osborne, then Theresa May. As the home secretary stepped forward to present the medals for the men's 1500m T20 event on Tuesday night, she was treated to the latest Paralympic sport to entertain the 80,000 spectators in the Stratford stadium - booing members of the government.

Just as Osborne had done the night before, when he received his own swelling chorus of derision at the men's 400m T38 medal ceremony, May made a stab at a sporting smile before presenting gold to Payman Bazanjan of Iran. An echoing catcall from tens of thousands of people may not be exactly pleasant, but at least May is used to it - her job involves addressing the police federation annual conference.

Inevitably, perhaps, Ed Miliband sought to draw political meaning from the chancellor's reception, telling prime minister's questions on Wednesday that the Paralympic crowd had "spoken for Britain".

Comments: I love it!

Thursday 6th September
Topic: Nepotism - Cameron - Government
Headline "Honours for cabinet reshuffle casualties - Number 10"
Source: BBC News
Extract: Several MPs who lost their jobs in David Cameron's cabinet reshuffle are to receive honours, it been announced.

The prime minister is to recommend to the Queen that former Commons leader Sir George Young be appointed to the Order of the Companions of Honour.

There will be knighthoods for former agriculture minister James Paice and ex-Solicitor General Edward Garnier.

Former defence ministers Nick Harvey and Gerald Howarth will also become knights, Downing Street said.

In Mr Cameron's reshuffle, Health Secretary Andrew Lansley was replaced by Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt.

Comments: Two face, creepy, nepotistic, self-effacing scum balls!

Friday 7th September
Topic: Cabinet shuffle - David Nepotist Cameron - Alcohol
Headline "David Cameron a 'plonker'"
Source: The Mirror
Extract: Cameron has been accused of necking plonk while sacking ministers during his first haphazard reshuffle.
Welsh Secretary Cheryl Gillan was said to have been furious after being ordered to the House of Commons and finding the PM "drinking wine" and "chillaxing".
Downing Street said there may have been booze in the room but insisted Mr Cameron would not have drunk it as it would have been "disrespectful".
There was also uproar after departing Tories James Paice, Edward Garnier and Gerald Howarth and Lib Dem Nick Harvey were all given knighthoods, but Mrs Gillan and axed Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman received nothing - despite being senior to them.

Comments: Knighthoods? Proof that the bent nepotistic swines in Parliament are bent nepotistic swines! God, let's have revolution... or maybe not.

Saturday 8th September
Topic: Nick Clegg - Coalition - LibDems
Headline "Nick Clegg to visit Nottingham"
Source: This is Nottingham
Extract: Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg is coming to Nottingham next week to take part in a public question-and-answer session, organised by the Post.

The event, in a central city centre location on Thursday, will allow readers to put their questions to Mr Clegg.

He said: "I'm delighted to be visiting Nottingham next week. I visited in August last year, to see for myself how the community had bounced back after the city was hit by rioters.

"The spirit I encountered then was humbling and I am looking forward to hearing from people directly on what has happened since then.

"I've been travelling across the country over the summer to hear first-hand how people are doing and see how Liberal Democrats in the coalition Government can do more to help them.

"Nottingham will be the last city I visit on my summer tour and I can't think of a better place to end on a high point.

Comments: He'll be able to talk with both of the Lib-Dem voters then?

Sunday 9th September
Topic: Hair - Tony Blair
Headline "Tony Blair's ditched Brown"
Source: The Sun
Extract: Blair sparked mystery last night after appearing to have dyed his greying mop Blonde!

The ex-Prime Minister sported two strikingly different hair colours during a TV interview.

For the first time, his temples had a light-coloured fringe layered over them. When confronted, an aide would only say: "He's been on holiday."
But one onlooker said: "Blair would do anything to distance himself from Brown,

Comments: I'm just amazed nobody noticed the two-faces!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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