Nottingham's Senior Citizen Bartholomew Utterswaithe's, was heard in his bedroom this morning.
The verbal sounds that emanated from that room, were weird, hard to describe and lasted for a good two minutes or so.
I will attempt here to reproduce them in written form, for I would like to know exactly what it was he was doing, and thought someone might be able to inform me.
I, incidentally am his neighbour. (I know... but I do not seek your sympathy... really).
0640hrs:
Argh... hup... hup... hup!..shit, (passing of wind from the anus) damn, argh!, ouch, bugger it... hup, ooh, owh.. sod it... ohh, ohohoh... arhahah, gotcha, phoor.
0642hrs:
Oooh, ach... come one!... hup, hup... shit!... arhahah... hup, argh sheee, ow!... (belch) hup... owerr, ach! a bit more... argh! Gotcha! - I'll 'ave to 'ave a cuppa now, phwer!
I have since ascertained what it was he was trying to do, please do feel free to have a guess what it was he was up to, before you scroll down to have a look at what it was he was actually doing....
He was putting his socks on!
