Bus Shelter, Olympic Route Network (ORN), LONDON: As the Busker sings, thoughts come to the conscious mind.
Five Olympic wheel rings on my wagon,
And I'm still rolling along,
The Met Police are chasing me
Tasers fly, right on by,
But I'm singing a happy song.
I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high
Olympic Lanes, there for five wheeled wagons
A mile up the road, there's a Police road block
And we can watch those mounted Police
Go galloping by
SPOKEN: "Lord Coe, they're catching up to us!"
"Get that wagon back in the 'commoners lane' woman!"
SPOKEN: "Lord Coe, what are we going to do about the crazy lane markings in Southampton Row, Central London on the Olympic Route Network, where 'commoners' face just two options, both illegal, where they can either travel in the bus lane, the Olympic lane or on the wrong side of the road?"
"Get back in the 'commoners lane' now!"
Fours Olympic wheel rings on my wagon,
And I'm still rolling along,
The Met Police are still chasing me
Gunshots fly, right on by,
But I'm singing a happy song.
I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high
Olympic Lanes, there for five wheeled wagons
A mile up the road there's a Army check point
And we can watch those Chieftans tanks
Go thundering by
SPOKEN: "Dave Cameron, why are the Border Guards going out on Strike?"
"If you don't like it, sing the England, "Back Home! song!!"
SPOKEN: "David Cameron, what are we going to do about the G4S Security firm and all those who didn't sign up for work?"
"Looks like my 'hug a hoodie' initiative didn't work and neither did my promise to get the 'work shy' off their backsides!"
Three Olympic wheel rings on my wagon,
And I'm still rolling along,
The Flying Squad are still chasing me
Machine guns fly, right on by,
But I'm singing a happy song.
I'm singing a higgity, haggity, hoggety, high
Pioneers, they never say die
A mile up the road there's a hidden cave
And we can watch the Flying Squad
Go galloping by
SPOKEN: "Steve Redgrave, they're catching up to us!"
"Get back in the boat woman!"
SPOKEN: "Steve Redgrave, the boat is leaking water!"
"Then bale out the boat woman!"
Two Olympic wheel rings on my wagon,
And I'm still rolling along
Them Royal Marines are after me
Flaming spears, burn my ears
But I'm singing a happy song
I'm singing a higgity, haggity hoggety, high
Royal Marines , they never say die
Half a mile up the road there's a hidden cave
And we can watch those Royal Marines
Go marching by
SPOKEN: "Duh, Linford Christie? Are you sure this is the right ORN road?"
"Will you hush up? You and your Olympic Route Network maps!"
SPOKEN: "Duh, Linford Christie? These ORN roads don't make no sense, it has taken four hours to get here?"
"Stop complaining, this isn't the marathon, so what are you complaining about?"
One Olympic wheel ring on my wagon,
And I'm still struggling along
Them Harrier Jump Jets would be after me
If they hadn't been sold to the Americans
I'm all in flames, at the reins
But I'm singing a happy song
I'm singing a higgity, haggity hoggety, high
Harrier Jump Jets, they never say die
Right around that turn there's a hidden cave
And we can watch those Harrier Jump Jets
Go flying by
SPOKEN: "George Osbourne? Should I get the bag of money, beads and trinkets, to see whether we can buy those Harrier Jump Jets back from the Yanks?"
"Village Idiot, the recession is over you fool, I know what I'm doing!"
SPOKEN: "George Osbourne? What is worth more, the bag of money, or the bag of beads and trinkets?"
"Village idiot, the money is worthless, as I am printing more tomorrow, you fool, I know what I'm doing!"
No wheels on my wagon,
So I'm not rolling along
The SAS captured me
They look mad, things look bad
But I'm singing a happy song
SPOKEN: "C'mon all you SAS, sing along with me!"
Higgity, haggity hoggety, high
SAS, they never say die…
