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Funny story: Verbal sounds emanating from Bartholomew Utterswaithe's bedroom?

Verbal sounds emanating from Bartholomew Utterswaithe's bedroom?

Nottingham's Senior Citizen Bartholomew Utterswaithe's, was heard in his bedroom this morning. The verbal sounds that emanated from that room, were weird, hard to describe and lasted for a good two minutes or so. I will attempt here to reproduce them in written form, for I would like to know exactly what it was he was doing, and thought someone might be able to inform me. I, incidentally...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 9th September 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 9th September 2012

Monday 3rd September * Gawd heavens... new pains in groin today. * Went over to see the lovely Margaret. She seemed a little less tired today. Walked her home, and I invested in some Health lottery tickets... I am a fool, as if I stood a chance... huh! * No walks today, spent ages on laptop, burnt another saucepan, and dropped then stood on a tomato. * By gum life's exciting! Tuesda...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments: W/E: 27th Aug 2012

My Senior Moments: W/E: 27th Aug 2012

Monday 20th August * Up really early to do diaries and mags - then got ready for trip out to Skeggy. * Just made it in time to meet Sister Janet and Brother-in-law Pete for trip out on train to Skegness that they had paid for as an early birthday pressie - except only Brother-in-law Pete was there, seems I got it mixed up again and thought Janet was coming. Not so. * Really enjoyed chinwa...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part 60 - Big, Busty, Brutal, Beautiful, Belinda

A True Diary of Woe - Part 60 - Big, Busty, Brutal, Beautiful, Belinda

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 105:Tesco's Big, Busty, Brutal Belinda I was on my way to Tesco, on Bath Street, Ilkeston for my first duties there. A nice sunny morning, plodding along on my Norton, young, fit, just promoted, willing and able, and full of the joys of spr...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments: W/E: 5th August 2012

My Senior Moments: W/E: 5th August 2012

Monday 30th July 2012 * Hurray... some sleep last night, great! * Remembered I'd forgot something for last Saturday's Senior Moments diary: When I went to catch the bus back from Bulwell, I again tried to use me bank card by mistake for me bus pass! Then, got seated, got the crossword book out and failed to find any answers... then the driver told us all that the bus would not start, and...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments: W/E: 14th July 2012

My Senior Moments: W/E: 14th July 2012

Monday 9th July 2012 * Still the knees are bothersome, but I got some good sleep in for once. * Noticed that two burglar alarm lights on adjoining houses opposite were flashing on the street when I opened the windows about 0330hrs, the rain was falling (well, belting down!), and a new collection of crushed beer cans were scattered over the street outside - so, nothing unusual there! * Pop...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 8th July 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 8th July 2012

Sunday 1st July 2012 * Woke up 0600hrs, angina pains bad, went to loo, as I passed through the kitchen, I took the burnt pan of veg stew off the stove and placed it lovingly in a bowl of water. *WC'd made a cuppa, took medications, and did a bit on the Spoof. Monday 2nd July 2012 * Up at 0500hrs, Spoofed a bit, took medications, made meal for the lovely Margaret, got me gigantic stack...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Nine - Tesco 1962

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Nine - Tesco 1962

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 104: 1962: A Day At Work At Tesco "With thanks to Skoob1999 who triggered my memory of this incident, when he was telling me of one of his own. Thank You Sir!" I was at the back door of Tesco on Granby Street (later to become Maid Marion Way...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Eight - To the Chemists...

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Eight - To the Chemists...

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947. He started life with nothing, and he still has most of it! Chapter 103: Fetching the Bi-Monthly medications Monday: Bi-monthly medications collection day Set out on the short ten minute walk to the pharmacists to fetch my bi-monthly medications p...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part 58 - Going to Work

A True Diary of Woe - Part 58 - Going to Work

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 102: Going to work - 1960 I knew of the one-day bus-drivers strike, so set out really early to walk the 8 miles or so to Buwell. Being greeted as I opened the door by the snow and ice I did not expect. I went back in and adorned me well...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Seven

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Seven

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 100: The Shopping Expedition Wed 20th 2012 Up at 0500hrs - Carbolicalised (ablutions), and medicated, followed by the usual hunt for my glasses and hearing aids. Put the laptop on to find out what day it is. Attend to shopping list: Rememb...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 20th May 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 20th May 2012

Monday 14th May 2012 * Stewart and Margaret away today, and no sign of Pippa the fat black cuddly cat either - again! * Got things ready for my meeting up with Mr Chris McManus and his partner, in West Bridford. Walked to town, bought a book of old postcard photos of West Bridford, and caught the bus out to the Test Match pub where we'd arranged to meet. The bus pass refused to swipe, and the dr...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 13th May 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 13th May 2012

Monday 7th April 2012 * Went over to see Stewart, I remembered that it was bank holiday, so he would not be going to his centre that day, so assumed he'd be in. No point in going over before about ten o'clock, he likes his kip. No answer. Went for a little walk as the knees were stiff and painful. Called at Stew's again, no answer. His cat was meowing to be let in, so led her to me hovel, and fed...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments for W/E: 6th May 2012

My Senior Moments for W/E: 6th May 2012

Monday 30th April 2012 * Went over to see disabled mate Stewart and Margaret, his, appealing, sensuous, loin-activating carer. Stew was out at his Social Centre, but I had a gossip and cuddle with Margaret. (Phoar!) * Happily hobbled off to QMC for me INR Warfarin level blood test. Level still too high - got to go back again tomorrow. * Tuesday 1st May 2012 * Up and on computer ear...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Six: Off for Blood Tests

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Six: Off for Blood Tests

A diary of one man's (Using the term man loosely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, that had started in August 1947 Chapter 99:: A Pleasant Walk to the QMC for my blood-tests The rain from the day before had relented, so off I set on my marathon hobble to the Queens Medical Centre, from my humble wreck of a two-up-two-down crumbling holed roofed hovel of...

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Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Five

A True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Five

A diary of one man's (Using the term loosely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 98: After a great night out I was so proud when I was invited to a company 'do', and received my 'City & Guilds' in Fresh produce retailing certificate. Unfortunately it was on a Friday night, after I'd just done a 15 hour shift at work...

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Funny story: My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 15th April 2012 - Two

My Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 15th April 2012 - Two

Monday 9th April 2012 * Up at 0300hrs - To the WC, cup of tea, pain killers, to the WC, on the Spoof, up to the WC, spill tea over me knees... luckily it was no longer hot, to the WC... usual morning up to now (0505hrs). Tuesday 10th April 2012 * Up and on the web at 0020hrs this morning. Determined to keep any senior moments to a minimum! Wednesday 11th April 2012 * Went over too see Ste...

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