Susan Boyle Feels That She May Be Losing Her "Socks" Appeal

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 10 March 2011

image for Susan Boyle Feels That She May Be Losing Her "Socks" Appeal
A pair of Susan Boyle's 'SuBo Socks' that she gave to Russell Brand for Christmas.

BLACKBURN, West Lothian, Scotland - Susan Boyle, one of the towns most famous citizens recently met with a reporter for The Tickety Boo News and spoke about her career.

She stated that it has been a fairy tale story but with some emotional, physical, mental, and even geographical roller coaster ups and downs.

SuBo, as everyone except for Louis Walsh and Britney Spears, calls her, stated that at times she feels as if she is the Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth living in Buckingham Palace and at other times she feels as if she is the humbly homeless Ethel Braskley living in a cardboard box across from Scotland Yard.

The Scottish lady has appeared in sold out venues throughout the world from The Hippity Hopping Kangaroo Coliseum in Sydney, Australia before 97,891 fans to Shanghai, China's, China Closet Arena, which holds 185,000 people.

Boyle told Neville Twickenbuck of The Tickety Boo News that even though she may be surrounded by hordes and hordes of people there are times when she feels utterly alone.

She added that nothing gives her greater pleasure than sitting at home and feeding her pet cat, "Pebbles," some Kibbles 'N Bits.

SuBo also revealed to Twickenbuck that she has never told a soul but she also has two other pets. A tiny Shetland Snapping Turtle, which is about the size of a Lima Bean which she named "Simon," after Simon Cowell, and a tiny wingless hummingbird which she named "Beyonce."

She is quick to add that she did not name her wingless hummingbird after Beyonce the famous American singer, but after her next door neighbor Beyonce Piffinholt, a retired schoolmarm.

When Twickenbuck asked Ms. Boyle about her hobby of sewing socks with affectionate names on them such as "Honey," "Sweety," and "Pudding Lips" she smiled and remarked that since she first appeared on Britian's Got Talent she has sewed and given away over 4,200 pairs of SuBo Socks, free of charge to her fans as a gesture of appreciation.

But Susan said that lately the requests for her Subo Socks have gone from about 180 pair per day down to about 7 pair per day. She took a sip of her tea, a bite of her pomegranate croissant and replied that she is afraid that she may be losing her "Socks" appeal.

Twickenbuck giggled and SuBo asked what was so bloody bloomin' funny.

He composed himself and replied that he was taken aback at the cleverness of her 'punderful' use of the "S" word in the phrase "Socks" appeal.

SuBo asked him if he knew where she was coming from in regards to the appeal. He replied that he did and that if he was her he would certainly be feeling the same exact way.

He then tried to comfort her by saying that the same thing has happened to other great singers of the past including Petula Clark, Dusty Springfield, Barbra Streisand, and Edie Gorme.

That truly made Susan feel better. She stood up went into the kitchen and made him a ham and cheese sandwich. She handed it to Mr. Twickenbuck and thanked him and remarked that she had to get ready because she was flying out to perform at a concert at The Running of The Bulls Convention Center in Barcelona, Spain.

Susan told him that the president of Spain Johnny Gomez would be in attendance and that he was going to present her with the coveted 'Key to The Country.'

Susan Boyle is 49, single, and says that she has had a crush on Donny Osmond ever since she was 9.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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