Sigh of Relief

Funny story written by walter

Sunday, 5 September 2010

image for Sigh of Relief

When the school boy, wearing dull parched cobbled shoes, saw the glistening leather ‎boots of his classmate, the boy turned spellbound. ‎

After class, the same child, walking along with his parents, hand in hand, still kept his ‎head turned back to imbue his eyes with the last minute gleaming of the classmate's ‎leather boots. It was at these moments that the boy sighed i. e., he felt dejected and ‎abandoned. ‎

At home, curling up on a threadbare rug, he dreamed of shiny boots. Of course, he was ‎too young to understand money matters. As he grew up, he experienced more and more ‎deprivations. Putting all alternatives in perspective, he saw he had tried every option to ‎no avail: anger, tears, tantrums …‎

Well, he never forgot what his father had once conveyed to him about the child's ‎grandfather: he was fairly rich; died young; his wealth ransacked by his relatives. The ‎more the child delved into his own past, the angrier he became. He, finally, concluded ‎that he was born in the wrong time and wrong place. As he went on, he metaphysically ‎determined that a mysterious force was acting against him. And he wished to be ‎protected by a counterpart. In other words, he was experiencing the natural concept of ‎religion.‎

Lucky him, when he was overburdened by pain, he felt the second mysterious force ‎would come along and lessen his throbbing ache. Despite his great losses, he was glad ‎he had earned a new soothing source of remedy. ‎

Whatever; he, as a child, was too young to tell apart the reality from fantasy. He, later, ‎found other peers bragging of having same mysterious friend. ‎

His shoes were still rugged and much cobbled. One day, outside a teahouse, a man ‎bought him a cup of tea and offered him a job at the house of god's sole representative ‎on planet earth. The boy was flabbergasted. Anyway, his job ironically turned out to be ‎the lord's shoeshine boy. When he saw the mass of shoes, he almost swooned. ‎

One day, around 10 o'clock in the morning, his brush fell off the attic window, and he ‎had to climb down a window ledge to fetch it. During his descent, he saw what he ‎shouldn't have seen: the man of god and a dozen naked women were twining twisting ‎coiling enlacing like worms and hysterically laughing and performing odd manners of ‎copulation. Periodically, a female would whistle and ask the females to take a voluntary ‎‎'position' to please more the Lord of the earth; thereafter, the naked females would take ‎a position on their own initiative called Sim's, Knee-chest, Lithotomy, or Trendelenburg's ‎positions. ‎

Unfortunately for the shoeshine boy, the girl with Trendelenburg's position, facing the ‎ceiling, saw him on the ledge and pointed him out to the Lord. The boy, seeing the ‎threat, jumped and ran for his life. Days and nights barefooted he walked until he ‎reached a monastery in front of which a beggar with an amputated foot sat next to his ‎pan. The boy sat down, too, inquiring about his life story; it was a mirror image of the ‎barefooted-shoeshine-boy refugee, with the exception of being captured and amputated ‎for sneaking a look. For the first time in his life, the refugee boy exhaled a sigh of relief!‎

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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