Kashmir: The Kashmir Mujahideen has decided to import trainers from Iraq to teach disgruntled Kashmiris the art of throwing shoes at Chief Ministers and other symbols of the oppressive establishment.
"It's a crying shame that even ex-members of the security forces cannot shy a shoe at a target that's barely twenty feet away," said separatist leader Ali Begsdakweston. He was referring to the incident on India's Independence day, when a suspended policeman hurled a shoe in the direction of Kashmir Chief Minister Omar Abdullah and missed.
It's downright embarrassing, said Muhammed Mustafa, one of the valley's stone-throwing stalwarts. "We all hailed the chap as a brave hero of the revolution for throwing a shoe at this guy Omar Abdullah who's sold his soul to New Delhi. We shouted slogans in his favour, and were about to declare him a martyr of the Revolution, because we were sure he'd be fried. Now the idiot tells us he was throwing the shoe at the Commissioner of Police, and has said that he's a supporter of Abdullah. For heaven's sake, what our people need are good shoe throwing skills, so we can avoid such embarrassment in future", he said.
What better trainers than the chaps who threw the shoe at good old George of the Beating 'round the Bush fame?
