Hillary's Baghdad lunch menu

Funny story written by matwil

Saturday, 25 April 2009

image for Hillary's Baghdad lunch menu
'Why don't Gregg's do sheep's eyeball big softies?'

Here is the menu from Hillary Clinton's lunch in Baghdad:


Sheep's eyeballs roasted with parsley, thyme and rosemary's chopped-off hand
Cockroach falafel
Pureed goat's droppings in a dressing of balsamic vinegar, wrapped in poison ivy leaves

Main course

Frog's spare ribs wrapped in a deep-fried empty Red Crescent food parcel
Bits of sheep, peppered with shrapnel
Bits of Iraqi, sprayed with Texan DDT


Camel's tail ice cream
Turkish delight in genocide sauce
American apple pie, flown in by helicopter to make up for all the Iraqi children killed by it

Coffee, laced with arsenic
Tea, laced with even more arsenic, dammit
Few drops of fruit juice in a glass of cyanide, for heaven's sake

'U Qan't Qill th'Undead' Chocolates
Billeo et Monika cigar

followed by:

Entertainment and Games

Baghdad Formation Corpses Motorcycle Display Team

Mrs. Clinton's knife-into-the-back-throwing exhibition

'Name That CIA Poison Gas' quiz

'Spot The Difference' contest - dinner guests have to try and spot the difference between American-bombed Palestinian hospitals, American-bombed Iraqi hospitals, and American-bombed Libyan hospitals

Pass The Suicide Parcel

Readings from 'American-run democracy, and if you don't want it here the USAF will kill you all' manual

More readings, from 'The Rough Guide To Israel', featuring descriptions of Jerusalem, Tel Aviv and Washington DC.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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