The Story of the Neocon Prince and the Liberal Pauper

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Daddy, will you tell me the story about how Wolfowitz got fired from the World Bank?

Well, okay. But you have got to promise me not to ask me any questions that are unscripted or challenge my authority in anyway, okay?

Oh, oh, okay.

Once upon a time, there was a Neocon Prince named, Paul Wolfowitz, and a Liberal Pauper named, Peter Coyote.

One day the Neocon Prince, Wolfowitz --

Is that the same World Bank President, Wolfowitz, daddy?

Yes dear. Now let daddy tell the story, okay?

Okay. Oh, daddy?


Will it scare me like the last time?

Only if you're still a liberal, honey.

I better keep Mr. Bear close then.

Okay. Ready?


It just so happened that he ran into a Liberal Pauper, Coyote. Both were surprised by their similar appearances and last names. And despite the polarity of their geo-politics and conflicting economic theories, still, each wondered what it was like to walk in the others shoes and take on the other's responsibilities, so they agreed to trade places.

The former pauper, Coyote, would run the World Bank as President and the former Neocon Prince, Wolfowitz would hang out in Hollywood with Coyote's liberal friends doing voiceovers at an exorbitant rate, just to sound a lot like Kevin Cosner.

While Coyote, at the World Bank, had great plans to share the world's wealth with the poorest struggling developing nations, just like the charter says. The only bad thing was, he believed a little too strongly in the old saying: charity begins at home. Before you knew it, he promoted Wolfowitz's girlfriend at a higher salary, instead of firing her like everybody advised him.

Now, Coyote did not think Europe was so ethically challenged or such an uptight culture when it came to girlfriends. After all it was Europe and the French and Italians are known for --

Yes, daddy? Known for what?

Let's just say for having a lot of girlfriends in addition to their wives.

Girlfriends are okay. Except for Marry Burger. I hate her. She tries to put gum in my hair at school.

Like I was saying.

Well, anyways, Coyote got in into a little trouble at the World Bank for not firing Wolfowizts's girlfriend and for especially promoting her instead.

Meanwhile, back in Hollywood, still cashing in on all those checks for over priced voiceovers, Coyote's liberal friends did not detect the switch at all.

But back at the World Bank investigations started, hearings were held and before you could shake a stick at poor old Coyote, he was told to go back home to Washington, DC from winced he came.

Well, you can imagine what Wolfowitz felt like when he got back to Europe, expecting to get his old job back, just to find out Coyote got him fired.

Was Wolfowitz mad, daddy?

No, not really. He knew they were out to get him anyway they could and that it was just a matter of time.


Yes, my dear.

Is the story over?

You know it is, dearest. Why?

Because that's the biggest load of &^%# I've ever heard.

What did I tell you about using those potty mouthwords? Now wash your mouth out with soap again. Go on. I swear that's your mother talking. I never should have married a Democrat.

That's not what mommy says. She says you were a Democrat too, but you changed when you got older. Is that true, daddy?

Go to Bed!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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