As Wolfowitz Resigns, US Seeks To Appoint Another Poodle to World Bank

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Friday, 18 May 2007

image for As Wolfowitz Resigns, US Seeks To Appoint Another Poodle to World Bank
A US World Bank candidate

WASHINGTON (AP) - Although Paul Wolfowitz has finally resigned as World Bank president over his graft and corruption, a new battle looms as the United States seeks to replace him with another neoconservative sleazebag poodle for the institution.

Wolfowitz's resignation due to his controversial handling of his highly-paid mistress takes effect on June 30. He has announced he will manage the Golden Nugget Casino and Saloon in Las Vegas, but he says he would far prefer to "start an oil war somewhere based on lies and deceit, maybe in Iran," just like he did with Iraq.

Wolfowitz added that it "had been fun spreading poverty and misery about the world as World Bank president by forcing neoconservative policies and privatizations on poor nations which enriched the rich nations."

The White House said it would soon name an American successor, and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson said he would help President George W. Bush in identifying another neonconservative flunky like Wolfie to the presidency.

Other Bush bozos being considered include former Deputy US Secretary of State Robert Zoellick, Deputy US Treasury Secretary Robert Kimmit, Britain's outgoing Bush poodle and Prime Minister Tony Blair, and Stanley Fischer, governor of the Bank of Israel.

But other countries are challenging the tradition of the US government in choosing the World Bank chief, and seek a candidate who is competent and corruption-free and who doesn't give preference to boosting US corporations in World Bank aid.

"The current unjust arrangement by which the US gets to appoint the head of the World Bank has to end," said Bernie Bomerollo, of Unesco. "Just look at the scumbag we ended up with."

"I wish the Bush administration would announce its support for an open, competitive and merit-based process, rather than choosing another warmongering Bush monkey."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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