Share blame, share Girlfriend solution works for the World Bank

Funny story written by Global Citizen

Thursday, 17 May 2007

Media report after report reported that World Bank president, Mr. Wolfowitz wanted the Board to share blame for controversy over salary raise for his girlfriend. Robert Bennett, his attorney, stated "Mr. Wolfowitz will not leave under a cloud".

Saddam didn't get the opportunity to negotiate his death; but it's only fair that Wolfowitz gets an opportunity to negotiate his firing from the World Bank in his own terms.

As the 24-member World Bank board scratched their heads on how to find a solution to this World Bank Soap opera over last weeks and none apparently emerged; a sudden solution has emerged just now from the White House which has already been acceptable to Wolfowitz based on his stated demands; and also to the board because of its uniformity in logic.

The White House solution stated that the 24-member board didn't share his girlfriend; but now as Wolfowitz demands they should share the blame for controversy; they should get the right to share his girlfriend first. The stakeholders of the World Bank also include the billions of people (Correa and Chavez included), more so the poor people of the world beyond the board and its president. They may also get an option to have their share in this girlfriend and girlfriend controversy if they want.

The solution gained acceptance on this strong pitch that no one should be left out. However to keep the straight image of the World Bank intact, the World Bank has decided against gays.

"And when all are part of the same girlfriend controversy, including me and you; Mr. Wolfowitz naturally would not be alone under a cloud" argued Mr. Bennet in signaling his accepting to this deal on behalf of his client.

Dictating the terms of the resignation, a White House aide apparently stated that as the board accepted these terms, Mr. Wolfowitz won't resign 'in next eight minutes', implying a few more months being their timeframe to get rid of Wolfowitz from the World Bank.

The board while welcoming this solution felt it made sense because the board and other stakeholders, based on their interest in his girlfriend and girlfriend controversy, would need time. The timeframe of Mr. Wolfowitz's Presidency can be extended, like the indefinite Iraq war, if need be.

The World Bank is in the process of creating a site to enlist names of interested people beyond its board who would like to share the blame along with the blamed president's girlfriend on a FIFS (First-In-First-Served) basis.

People like us who are not interested in either the blame or the girlfriend, can sign-up in the spoof instead. World Bank has acknowledged that people registered with the spoof after this announcement would not be burdened with the blame or with the girlfriend.

The much awaited solution didn't have all praise and no criticism. A small group of minorities like you and me who felt concerned about the health of the girlfriend and the morality of the issue was sidelined by both the World Bank and the White House by producing the evidence of democratic Iraq.

While invading Iraq, allied forces didn't feel it necessary to consult the people of Iraq; they rather went into an illegal invasion as per the UN; however that did not stop Iraqis cherishing their democracy today.

The Iraq success story would be repeated with the president of the World Bank and his girlfriend along with the world.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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