Before even Kelly Osborne could take her hair out of its beehive and lay down on the street holding on to the pavement for dear life, Amy Winehouse has announced her comeback tour.
Within three minutes of arriving in Heaven, she joined forces with Phil Lynott, Janis Joplin, Marc Bolan, Michael Jackson and Jim Morrison to form the newest super-group "Heaven and Hell". The six of them then went downstairs to Hell to track down some session musicians.
The rock pundits from all the major music magazines are said to be totally ecstatic, although some are understood not to take drugs at all.
Ticketmaster have said they don't give a stuff really, providing they can collect their robbery-style "booking fee" from selling the tickets, although they did say they would rather fans buy the tickets and then sell them via their Ticketmaster second-hand ticket subsidiary so they can make double the money in commission.
