Is Amy Winehouse now a zombie?

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 26 July 2011

image for Is Amy Winehouse now a zombie?
The popular media portrayal of zombies is way off the mark

Megastar R&B Diva Amy Winehouse may have overdosed on the Haitian 'zombie drug' Scopolamine, reports are indicating.

The 'Back to black' singer was well known for her misuse of illegal and dangerous substances that turned her from an attractive Channel 4 T4 presenter to a zombie look-a-like, and one of the drugs she had been known to use was Scopolamine.

The tropane alkaloid is portrayed in the media as the drug that can make people appear dead, whilst they are in fact still alive. It is believed that Ms Winehouse used this particular concoction to help her sleep at night. She was often said to sleep the sleep of the dead, and it may have been this drug that helped her do just that. The drug can induce a catatonic state in the body that mimics death sufficiently that it can even fool paramedics. It was used as part of Haitian Death Rituals, where a shaman would kill somebody and then resuscitate them to prove his power.

Overdosing on Scopolamine induces a massively deep coma that can take days to emerge from. With the coroners office holding back on performing an autopsy to determine the cause of death of Ms Winehouse, home office pathology insiders are indicating they are ensuring that she is actually dead first.

"We know she had several habits," said pathologist Harry Cunningham, with a wiggle of thick eyebrows, who will be performing the autopsy eventually. "We can tell by looking at her finger tips, inside her nasal cavity and on the inside of her upper lip. As well as the marks on her arm, thighs and between her toes. There was significant scarring on both eyeballs and the back of her oral cavity is burned. If this is a scopolamine induced coma, I'll probably be seeing her fairly soon anyway."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more