Pamela Sprocket is always posting on Facebook about Witchcraft, but she is not actually a witch. Posting about the sap in Christmas Trees, and what it means in the world of Wiccan she said 'As a practising witch for many years, I know about the da…
A new Halloween movie hits cinemas today, and, according to inside sources, it's the scariest scary movie ever to scare people! Starring several stars, 'Halloween, Or Something' is said to be SO scary, the film's producers are worried they might h...
Massachusetts - Scientists imported from England today declared that the reason Donald J. Trump feels there is a witch hunt for him is because he is indeed a witch. Scientists meeting secretly in Salem, Massachusetts have worked out the science behi...
Her walkway is lined with sugarless candy canes and her lawn is covered over with gluten free danishes. With the sides of her house made of non trans fat chicken fingers, a roof full of diet doughnuts and windows of sugarless sugar, the dimwitted wi...
Scottie Nell Hughes, a Trump surrogate, in an interview with Esquire magazine, spelled out the Trump campaigns strategy. Hughes illustrated a defining principle of Trumpism: There's no longer such thing as fact, because anything is true if enough pe...
Clinton Estate - According to our anonymous source, who wishes to be known only as "Bill", Hillary has been secluding herself in the basement where she has collected all her witches equipment: Broom with extra thick handle, black candles made from th...
A new coven is in town with a down-homey, right wing, and bombastic take on political events. On Fox's new Witch Project, Ann Coulter hosts along with regular guest hosts Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, and Christine O'Donnell. The four seasoned witch...
Mel Gibson, the controversial and successful actor, said today that he could easily beat Hillary Clinton in the presidential election of 2016. Using phrases that have gotten him national attention in the past he said, "Hillary was born with light...
Be Witched was a situation comedy, or sitcom (short for stupid idiots tune in comedies) starring Lizzy Montgummy as Sam Stevens. A bigamist (or, possibly, a polyandryist), Sam was a transvestite witch who, out of stupidity, renounced magic in favor of love. She had two husbands, both named Darren (or, sometimes, Dum Dum, Durwood, Dagwood, or Dingleberry), who, coincidentally, were both employed by...
"I wish I was in Dixie." - Epitaph on Nicole Brown Simpson's headstone Dixie or Dixieland (not to be mistaken for Disneyland) is an imaginary country celebrated in a number of popular songs and, as such, takes its place not so much among the nations of the earth as it does among other nations of the mind, in a mental atlas alongside Narnia, Middle Earth, Oz, La La Land, Never Never Land, and...
Middle-ranking universities face extinction within the next decade, according to a leading soothsayer. Claire Voyunt, chief oracle, warned that even posh universities could struggle to survive if big cursers start venting their anger with vitrioli...
The Lion that was originally spotted in Essex has made its way up the country to the Lancashire town of Pendle just in time for the Annual Coven Festival, which takes place every weekend in the town. "We couldn't believe it," said Peter Bottomthwa...
With Tony Blair taking the stand in the Leveson enquiry on Monday morning, many people are expecting him to be questioned about Rebekah Brooks. Tabloid headline writers are sharpening their pencils in a euphemistic way at the prospect of what he migh...
Late last night while taking his regular "constitutional" (Gingrich's preferred term for his nightly moonlight strolls through the woods, the moniker he feels best demonstrates his passionate commitment to the civil rights propagated by our Founding...
Celebrants and organizers cannot decide on the proper funeral song for the funeral of Osama Bin Laden. While such things as the flower choice were obvious (poppies, because of the opium), the music is still causing great debate. Apparently, the a...
The Circle is set, the words are spoke, the spell is cast, "so it be mote"! Then Lights, Camera, Action! Today a new drama is being filmed in the backdrop of the classically witchy town of Salem, Massachusetts. The story was laid out for the new...
Somware, Delaware - You've barfed your way through episodes of Sarah Palin's Alaska, keep the barf bag and perhaps a shotgun handy for Christine O' Donnell's Delaware. While Sarah Palin's show is somewhat rescued by the fact her family lives in one t...
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