Charlie Sheen is Simon Cowell's Younger Brother

Written by dutch

Wednesday, 16 March 2011


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In a shocking new revelation it has been revealed that Charlie Sheen is Simon Cowell's younger brother. Sheen was the product of an affair with Cowell's television producer father and Sheen's mother.

Furious Simon Cowell has admitted that Sheen is actually his kid brother:

"It makes my blood boil that the cat has been let out of the bag...I want nothing to do with this no hoper." Said Cowell at a press conference. He is livid that Sheen has been stealing his thunder with his sell-out world tour after the fiasco of him being sacked from "Two and a Half Men."

Cowell is said to be angered that the two have been unfavourably compared and Sheen is said to he the most handsome and taller of the two; and more attractive to women.

Charlie Sheen is famous for going on benders with porn-stars. He has been angered by the attitude of the producers of his comedy sit-com, "Two and a Half Men" and said ominously "My tiger blood will boil like a microwave on meths".

Cowell has warned Sheen not to come to him asking for a handout; he said that as an advocate of tough-love, "the cash-point is closed bro."

It has been rumoured that Cowell's coterie of women fancy Charlie Sheen and have said that he is "irresistable". Cowell does not like his women to look at other men and is absolutely incandescent. He has warned Cheryl to have no dealings with Sheen otherwise she will be cut off without a penny.

Sheen has been dismissive of Cowell and said, "The guy is so-far up his own ass he thinks he can directly communicate with God!".

Robbie Williams is said to be a pal of Sheen who likes his "bad boy" image. "The dude can bed down at my place any time - as long as he brings his sex goddesses with him." said bad boy Robbie, "I don't care what Uncle Si says, he'll get over his little hissy fit."

Sheen is hoping that Cowell will promote his world tour and provide him with a meal ticket. Insiders said that there is little chance of that.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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