Advertising Firm Pitches Charlie Sheen iPhone-4 Campaign in Japan

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Thursday, 17 March 2011


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Extras for the Sheen, iPhone commercial.

Mega international advertising giant, Dewey, Sellum and Haard was reportedly seen in Japan with Charlie Sheen just outside of the Fukushima nuclear power plant filming what appeared to be a commercial for the new iPhone.

Insiders on the photo shoot tell reporters that the effort was an attempt to build the photo and video story boards for a sales pitch to win the iPhone advertising business.

Quick to set the record straight, DSH account executive Willy Slymington says, "No, no, no. Apple is not yet a client, but we hope to sway them our way with this edgy and memorable campaign".

Featuring Sheen holding the fully functioning iPhone against the backdrop of the steaming power plant, the story board tag line reads, "Simply Indestructible".

"It should read, Bad Taste", says cellular phone industry analyst, Harold Marshman. "I mean, I get it. Sheen keeps bouncing back from self destruction, the iPhone is a tough piece of technology and the Japanese people can overcome any obstacle, but after seeing the initial commercial, I feel like I want to vomit. Big viscous chunks, actually." When hearing about Marshman's comments, Slymington replied, "But, I bet he remembers it. In advertising, that's all that matters."

No word from Apple on their interest, or extreme lack of it for the advertising campaign, though other sources tell TheSpoof that numerous companies are making their way to Japan for similar juxtapositions of products next to the Fukushima plant. One burgeoning energy drink company's entourage was seen wearing tee-shirts featuring a neon green bottle and text that read, "GO NUCLEAR". Marshman added, "I need an Alka Selzer".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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