Heidi Montag Confesses "Yes, I've Just Had My Vagina Vajazzled"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 22 September 2010


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Heidi Montag says she is so proud of her vajazzled vagina that she wants to show it off to Hugh Hefner.

MALIBU BEACH - Heidi Montag, who has had more cosmetic and plastic surgery than any three Hollywood celebrities, including male celebs such as Burt Reynolds and Kenny Rogers, was spotted sunning her plasticized body on Malibu Beach.

Heidi, who is getting divorced from Spencer Pratt due to the fact he just got so gosh darn tired of the smell of plastic, was asked if she'd had her playpen vajazzled.

Montag blushed and admitted that she'd in fact had that Left Coast procedure done. The 33-year-old said that she had been wanting to get the big "V" done ever since last Valentine's Day.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Vajazzling is the process by which a woman, usually a rich celebrity who has to top all of the other celebrities goes to her OGBYN and gets a Brazilian Wax. She then has her muffin enhanced by having it decorated with Swarovski crystals, or any other type of decorative ornaments such as gems, jewels, pearls, beads, baubles or sequins. I have personally seen two myself and I must say that both crotch cookies looked like expensive Beverly Hills birthday cakes.]

Heidi, who has had a total of 38 different visual enhancement surgeries, says that her vajazzling has been her most favorite. She said that she loved her nipple coloring, her uvula circumcision, her ovaries enhancement, and her sphincter tightening, but getting the big "V" has been the most intimately satisfying.

Montag smiled coyishly and said that the really neat part about it is that she gets to see her latest gift each and every time she sits down to pee.

In a related story. The rumor that 97-year-old Joan Rivers is getting her vagina vajazzled with little bitty gold plated matzah balls has still not been corroborated.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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