Musical fans of Alvin and the Chipmunks were relieved of enormous pressure with the recent notice that Chelsea Clinton is soon to be wed and bred, thereby insuring that the lineage of the lovable singing rodent will not die intestate!
Alvin and his two brothers were created in 1958 and survived for several decades appearing on record albums, comic books , tv specials, and even on the big screen.
With their high pitched voices and cherubic Face Cheeks they were the darling of the younger set and their Ivy League School parents.
During recent years, long time fans were concerned that the lineage would die out as Chelsea Clinton, she of the Chipmunk Cheeks and Bushy Tail, questionable parentage, after all did "Bill really ever have sex with HER" being the nightly cocktail debates in Greenwich, Cn, Boston, Ma., and NY state horse country, as Chelsea seemed destined to a life of spinster hood either on the Supreme Court, or as Ambassador to Dubai.
Apparently after having Nancy Pelosi mentor her for a summer in the House of Representatives, a new Chelsea emerged...a firmer chin, less accented Chipmunk cheeks, and a better dress designer to soften the lump of the infamous Hillary Thunder Thighs and Awesome ASS cheeks.
Fans were glad to see that Chelsea was not yet ready to be doomed to the 'Pants Suit Posse' brigade now 'very big' in Washington Circles, not to mention that they can safely assume she probably really isn't gay.
The July 31st wedding set for Rhinebeck, NY, is said to be costing over $2m, but as any citizen not born yesterday knows, won't be costing the Clintons anything at all....after all, have they ever picked up a check for ANYTHING?
Even Vince Foster's body lay unclaimed for 6 months until a Chinese donor eventually paid to have it picked up and creamated without an autopsy.
The groom responsible for continuing the Alvin legacy is Marc Mezuinsky, an uncommon name for a farm boy from Arkansas with so much riding on his pedigree and in his jeans.
A spokesman for the bride said that after the wedding Chelsea will be known as Chelsea Rodham Clinton Mezuinsky, or simply "Ski' for short in the vernacular of today's twitter and social networking accounts.
Grandmother to be, Hillary, is said to be overjoyed with the prospect of having a bunch of little 'chipmunks' running around her weekend home, and even hopes to have them travel abroad to widen their horizons for future service to their country.
Following the huge wedding ceremony, the bride and groom will be off on a motor tour of New England, including a 3 day stop at Perry's Nut House, in Belfast, Maine, a major tourist attraction since 1927.
After stocking up, "Ski" and her husband are said to be off to Arkansas, a tour of the Clinton Library, and then on to Georgia to visit 'Uncle' Jimmy Carter on his Peanut Farm, suck on some boiled peanuts and mount a search to scoff some 'primo pecans' according to a spokesman for the loving couple.
Producers of the show Meerkat Manor, an overnight TV hit across the world, are said to be 'highly interested' in a similar reality show as the Clinton brood begins to multiply, and have even come up with a catchy title:
"CHIPMUNK CORNER".
Walla Walla Bing Bang My Arse!
