Katie Price - aka Jordan - earlier announced plans to bottle and sell her own waste products.
"It just made sense," she told assembled journalists and perverts. "Every other aspect of my life is a financial commodity, so I figured - why not my shit?" When asked if she and her husband, transvestite cage fighter Alex Reid were in negotiations for a camera to be fitted to Reid's penis during conception, Price answered, "absolutely," and sat back with a smug look on her face as though every single word she utters is cause for awe struck astonishment.
Throughout the press conference, a clearly uncomfortable Reid grinned and shrugged at what he hoped were the right points during his wife's statement. "Of course," was his response when asked if he supported Price's last business venture. "Her last autobiography is two months old and it's weeks until the next one comes out, so this will help in the meantime." After receiving a pat on the head from Price. Reid was given a dog biscuit and answered no further questions.
"I suppose I'll have to start eating now," Price stated when asked just how she was going to produce enough cack to sell to the general public. "Anyone got a bag of chips?" she asked expectantly, storming out of the press conference in a huff when no one laughed at her quip. Reid stayed for a further five minutes before it was pointed out to him that his wife had left.
When door stepped outside his home, Peter Andre refused to comment, though he was heard to mutter, "Fucking Hell! I told her to do that. Bitch!"
Unbelievably, Price's wealth is reported to be over £40 million.