Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for Naomi Campbell Tells Tiger Woods "Hey Bro Boy Leave Dem White Chicks Alone and Getcha A Nice Black Sista"
Naomi Campbell's pet ostrich, which she named "Honky."

BOSTON - Naomi Campbell was in town watching the Boston Celtics play the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA Finals.

She was asked if she had been mean to any of her employees lately. Naomi asked "Say wot?"

When asked the question again, she exploded saying that it was a rhetorical question and that it was really no ones 'bitness' if she mistreated any of her employees physically, emotionally, verbally, or religiously.

Campbell, who has one of the worst tempers of any woman in America, black or white, said that she hates the fact that just because she has slapped around some of her employees on two or eight occasions, everyone now thinks that she does it all the time.

When told that she does have a history, she got all huffy and said that history is wrong. She then said, "Let's me reminds ya, dat over 200 years ago people told Columbus dat da effen world was flat. But it sho weren't and when he landed on dat rock over in Plymouth, Minnesota, he sho nuff showed everyone. Weren't it not.

People also told a little half-black boy, who be named Barack Obama, dat he would neva growed up ta be pres'dent, but da little half-white brudda sho nuff showed dem peoples dint he?"

Naomi said that she is sick and tired of always having to 'splain thangs' (explain things).

She did say that she would like to comment on the fact that Tiger Woods is at it again. She said that the half-black boy don't just don't get it.

Campbell said that while his wife is off in Shangahi, China, shopping for china, TigerBoy is messin' around again with them white blonde bitches.

She then said that Tiger better stop puttin' his putter in the pudendal pocket of these money-hungry white blonde ho's.

Naomi asked, "Can sumun tells me why it be dat all of dees famous, rich, black bruddas always has ta be doing da 'wild thang' with non-black women. I mean is it cause their public hair don't itch or wot?"

Campbell went on to mention Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, O.J. Simpson, and Lamar Odem. She shook her head and said that all of these black bro's just be giving every black women in America a big old inferiority complexion.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm pretty sure that da (the) temperamental bitch meant to say complex.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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