"It's true", stated a very happy Tiger Woods. "I am no longer addicted to sex and I'm glad", as he hit a 35-foot putt from off the green.
Look out PGA linksters, the Tiger is back and his mind is on the game as never before.
So what worked...the sex clinic?
"No, they tried everything there from shock treatment (horrible) to parading old women with two-foot long tits and I wound up having to pay one old lady off."
Tiger stated that that was when he had his brilliant idea. Chemical castration!
"I go in for a quick shot and I'm good for six months. I'm playing golf like never before. My sex problem was draining me till I was weak and there was no way to taper off to 3 or 4 gals a day, so I took the shot."
The one thing that Tiger says that he regrets is that he is still in divorce proceedings with wife, Elin.
"You can't make that woman happy. I told her that I was cured and we could have a great romp every six months and she said, "No thank you!"