Vegas - The amazing talents of Sigfried and Roy will once again be witnessed by thousands as they return to the Mirage Casino in Las Vegas for yet another single performance for charity. This time is different, however. This time, they will be attempting to tame a different sort of animal-the many mistresses of Tiger Woods.
"Zees are not rare aneemahls," claimed Sigfried, "but zey are wild. Ve vill have our hands fool wis zeez women."
Promoters of the event are hoping that having a cage containing Jocelyn James, Rachel Uchitel, and other lesser tigresses on the same stage will draw thousands of curious fans. "Obveeously," said Sigfried, "zees show vill not be anysing like ozzer shows. Ve vill have to really be on our toes for zees one. Zees vill be one of zee beegest cat fights in history."
The stage is expected to contain several beds instead of the regular pedestals used for lions and tigers and the women will be expected to jump from bed to bed as Sigfried and Roy taunt them with jeers such as "Ooh, I see vee have us a bunch of bed bunnies instead of tigresses," and "c'mon girls, jump from zees bed to zees bed-hurry, hurry, now grab that reality show contact in your teeth and swing from zee pole like good leetle kittens."
The show is already sold out, but you can still make contributions to the Tiger Woods Tigress Payoff Fund at www.tigertroubles.net.