Katie Price is to spend her entire fortune on the production of the film of her own life. The film, which will be based on her autobiographies and behind-the-scenes reveal-all TV series is reported to be on general release some time next year.
In her daily Price conference she said, "I've been to LA, schmoozed a few big Hollywood people and that. I've found a few producers who want to make MY film of MY story. No one wanted to give me any money to make it, but that don't matter 'cause I've got a load of cash, ain't I? They reckon it'll only cost £30 million to make, and I've just about got enough to do it. I'll have to flog the house and the horses and move back in with my mom for a bit, but it'll all be worth it, you'll see. Katie Price is coming to a big screen near you so be prepared people. Woo-hoo!!!."
Following the statement her finance advisers swiftly disassociated themselves from Price's plans. A spokesman from Blame & Pusher Beancounters of Hove said, "We have advised Katie at length against this, but she is adamant to forge ahead. Nothing will stop her, she is determined to make this film, even if it means she risks bankruptcy. We have therefore been left with no choice but to drop her as a client."
Katie is now facing a huge problem as no other accountant in the country wants to take her on. Even her brother, who has done a bit of filing and stuff for her in the past, doesn't want the job. A concerned undisclosed source close to Price said, "Her narcissism is simply out of control. She wants to risk losing everything she's earned on a film that will almost certainly flop. Everyone knows reality TV is the limit to her fame except her. She's starting to become glamour model spam."
When asked about the possibility the film may destroy her she said, "Up yours haters! I'll show you - NEVER underestimate the Pricey!!!"
Insolvency solicitors Vulture, Swoop & Downwards are said to be on standby.
