HOLLYWOOD - Goodness, gracious, DioGuardi. In the words of President Richard Nixon "What da hell happened?"
After Casey James finished his performance Kara proceeded to literally tear the cowboy from Fort Worth a 'new one.'
Casey was literally shocked and quickly learned why Hollywood is called the 'Land of the Fickle,' 'The City of Celluloid Crapola' and "The Place Where People Take A Backseat To Producers, Directors, and American Idol Judges."
Kara was apparently told by the American Idol executives to tone down her 'boy crazy' act and act like the mature 39-year-old woman that she supposedly is.
The word on the street (Vine) is that KaDio's husband was not too happy with the way she was salivating all over the boy from the Lone Star state last week.
An unnamed source, who reportedly lives next door to Kara and her husband said that 'Mr. DioGuardi' informed his wife in no uncertain terms that she had better get her act together.
He read her the riot act and told her to stop acting like some 'hormone-crazed' cougar before she gets herself in the same situation that Paula Abdul found herself in several years ago with Corey Clark, which made the ex-Laker girl look silly, horny, and Susan Sarandonesque; before "SS" divorced the little guy of course.
Meanwhile Simon Cowell, who sits next to Kara at the American Idol judges table said that he has noticed that Kara's thighs are not quite as firm to the touch as Paula's thighs.
He then added that having said that and if he can be perfectly honest, Kara does smell a lot nicer than Abdul, whom he said had a kind of choreographer smell about her.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I am trying to figure out if by 'choreographer smell' Simon meant sweaty, arrogant, or frustrated.]
Regarding DioGuardi's sudden 'standoffishness' towards Casey, Randy Jackson said that the 'Dawg' had never seen Kara pant so hard over a male performer as she did last week.
DeGeneres said that she thinks that Kara has a fantastic pair of luscious looking legs, a firm set of funbags - for her age, and a gluteus maximus (rumpus delecti) that cries out 'touch me Ellen, touch me Ellen.'
Ryan of the House of Seacrest offered up a 'no comment' and again denied that he is not gay and that he is getting tired of having to deny that claim every seven minutes.
To read more about Ellen's lesbianism and to get her secret recipe for her fantastic Ellenita's 'Pico de Gallo' log on to www.leftcoastcarpetmuncher.yum.
