Dr Conrad Murray - The Motive Behind Michael Jackson's Death Revealed

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Friday, 12 February 2010


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Doctor Conrad Murray, the medic charged with supervising Michael Jackson's medication at the time of the star's death has emphatically denied that he involuntarily manslaughtered the King Of Pop.

Upon finding himself faced with manslaughter charges, Doctor Murray decided, it seems, to make a clean breast of things to a homeless guy, in order to help ensure that the whole truth be told. The clearly psychotic unshaven and smelly man reportedly explained to LAPD detectives and FBI Behavioral Scientists that Dr Murray had not intended to harm in any way, let alone attempt to murder Michael Jackson, as it would have gone against the Hippocratic Oath to preserve life, and against all of Doctor Murray's belief systems.

It was for this reason, and this reason alone that the doctor, as upset as he apparently was, could possibly have failed to accurately monitor the amount of the anaesthetic drug Propofol, which the performer was using. Although the doctor denied being conscious of any negligence on his part at any stage.

The streetwise confident then stated that Jackson had entered into a verbal agreement with the doctor to supply 500 VIP tickets for a series of London Arena gigs the star was contracted to perform.

When Jackson reneged on the deal, a furious argument ensued, according to sources, leading to the singer going off to his room in a huff to seemingly get "wasted" and Doctor Murray to storming off to his private quarters to play his collection of Earth Wind & Fire albums.

The smelly hobo then stated that when the doctor later went to check on the singer, he was at best unconscious, at worst already dead. Attempts were made to revive the alleged child abuser, but it amounted to a case of "too little too late."

Doctor Murray has yet to apologise to the Jackson family and to all of Jackson's deluded fans because he had distinctly not inadvertently killed the King of Pop, claiming that it was his belief that the star - with his long history of prescription drug use, most probably self-administered his medication and accidentally overdosed.

Defense lawyers could give evidence that Jackson was an experienced self-administered drug user, and had been for a number of years. The weakened state of his emaciated body simply couldn't cope with the enormity of the overdose.

Doctor Murray was released from the court on bail.

Some people prefer their own exclusive version of events.

Conspiracy Theorist and crack addict Willard Clusterfuck told me:

"Doctor Murray didn't kill that old skinny assed white boy. He killed himself. He was so heavy in debt that he took the London gig to try to buy some time, even though he knew he was physically incapable of fulfilling his obligations. The walls were closing in on him and he had no place left to go. He couldn't face dying in poverty so he weighed up his options and he offed himself for the insurance money and so that creditors couldn't touch his remaining assets. He offed himself to save face. Murray is an innocent man."

Shocked by the importance and possible implications of publishing Clusterfuck's conspiracy theory, we initially thought that these allegations were unpublishable.

But then Clusterfuck is a registered drug addict with a history of mental health issues who has been incarcerated several times and diagnosed by psychiatrists as delusional. So nobody would take seriously anything he said.

Or would they?

We think we'll leave this story well alone. Until next time...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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