Former Bush Secretary Of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, who was at the Grammy Show recently and saw the Michael Jackson tribute, says that he wished that troubled man had called on him for support during all those battles he has been through by the press.
"He was almost like a son to me", stated Rumsfeld, a tear slowly crawling down his cheek. "Of course, it wasn't because I never met him. But the other night, I felt so sorry for those three kids, I could shit."
"Oh Michael, Michael, Michael! You never really had a life because of being busy since you were two with making money for your family."
Rumsfeld then paused and screamed out that he wished every Democrat in the world was dead and rotting.
"Michael wasn't one was he? Yes? Well, he IS dead and rotting come to think about it."
Back on the subject, Rumsfeld stated that Michael needed someone like him to look after him.
"I would have told him to tell the press to kiss my ass. That reminds me, All you guys can kiss my ass."
"Oh Michael! Michael! Michael!....SOB!!!"