Tiger Woods Speech Takes 10 Minutes To Name Girlfriends

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 19 February 2010

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Tiger Woods Speech Takes 10 Minutes To Name Girlfriends

The much anticipated Tiger Woods speech went out Friday morning and the scheduled 5 minute apology turned into 14 minutes of names.

Reading everything before his audience made up of friends and family and a cheering George Stephanopoulos who seemed to think this was Obama speaking.

Stephanopoulos called the it "one of the most remarkable public apologies ever by a public figure ever, except the one Bill Clinton never gave. Tiger left nothing on the table," Stephanopoulos said. "This is a man who has thought a lot about what he's doing...he did."

Rick Cerrone, former New York Yankees public relations director, however, disagreed. "What I saw was arrogance. ... It was basically an infomercial," he said on CNN.

The big surprise was that Tiger admitted to doing wrong and apologized to his wife, family and friends. Then he began apologizing to each lady he had 'used' taking up another 8-9 minutes.

"Jennifer..Joan..Alice in Burbank...Alice in New York...the little blond at the casino in Reno...those five in Las Vegas...the one who called herself "Your little Behind"....Alice in Dallas, Texas...and so on.

He then stated that he wasn't staying because he needed to get back to the sex clinic as he had gotten himself all hot and bothered.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more